Public good
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“What is Good for the Public is what is good for me. Tom Cruise says he is not gay.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Public Good
Public Good is what is good for the public. Well No-Shit Sherlock.
There are three forms of Public Good: benevolent, actual, and stupid.
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[edit] Benevolent Public Good
Benevolent Public Good is created when someone (or some organization) wants a blow-job for being such a wonderful person or organization. See Bill Gates or Warren Buffet for examples of people who grew tired of rolling around naked in piles of cash without an audience, and took it to the next level. See also the definitive benevolent public good.
[edit] Actual Public Good
Actual Public Good is created when someone (or some organization) wants to spend your money to make themselves look good. See The Apollo Program, Esperanto, Oklahoma Turnpike Authority, SPCA and the United Nations.
[edit] Stupid Public Good
Stupid Public Good is a bit of a misnomer. It should be read as "Stupid public, ... good!" See Committee of Letters, CoCtS, IRS, American red cross, and Scientology.
[edit] But what is it, exactly?
Well... it's good and for the public. Didn't we say that already? (no - that was different)
Of course, good is in the eye of the beholder. If you are ExxonMobile, gasoline at $30.00 per gallon is very good. If you are the moron that just bought a gas guzzling SUV, then you need a government program to subsidize your fuel consumption. Think of it as an equation: Government Program To Help Out The Public By Looting The Strategic Oil Reserve + Record ExxonMobile Profits = Public Good.
Farm subsidies are part of the Public Good - if the government didn't subsidize crops, those poor farmers would have to sell their crops at market prices. And then they would starve. The horror!
Guantanamo Bay is a part of the Public Good - members of the public go there until they promise to be good.
Still don't get it?
Sigh. Just go read this thoughtful explanation of how government spending results in a better world for you.


