Punk Rock
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“No, really, we are punk rock. What do you mean we're emo? Fuck, man, don't be so mean...”
~ Blink 182 on Punk Rock
Punk rock was based off the ideal that three guitar chords played in rapid succession would be nice. However, punk rock quickly surpassed expectations during the 80's, back when some would argue that Green Day was still... well, moderately decent, and before Luficer spawned the wave of late 90s and early 00's "punk rock" - which was not, in fact, punk rock, but a bunch of boys bitching about girls and singing like girls. The evolution of this genre has been short, rapid, and more painful to watch than Bush's 2000 presidential run. We examine the former here.
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[edit] The Origin
Punk Metal began began rather dubiously; it was formed by the members of the 80's rock music who thought that Metallica were pussies and had too many clean guitar solos. Thankfully, teen boys armed with heavy distortion and strangely awkward voices came to the rescue. With the arise of Slipknot, whose origins were rooted in punk rock, and Flogging Molly - who were preoccupied with rock and were actually too busy to every get around to flogging Molly - punk rock was born. A fusion between metal, classical music, and an obsession with drugs and sex, punk rock appealed to a generation of children who, like the kids in The Breakfast Club, thought they were much more abused and unloved then they actually were. Simply put? Punk rock appealed to a generation of pre-emo pussies who liked to feel sorry for themselves. Not to say the music was bad - people simply avoided it because of the people who liked it. The act of listening to punk rock was similar to "riding" the "town bicycle" - you only do it in an ally or in his/her (well, okay, her) bedroom while the parents are away.
[edit] Punk Rockers
Nowadays the only remnants of punk rock exist in the legacy of Simple Plan, Sum 41, and Blink 182 - all, incidentally, spawned after a long, hard night of drinking and orgy, though the Simple Plan orgy was considerably more family friendly than the other orgies.
[edit] The End/The Great Metal Rampage
Punk rock went out with a band as soon as that one guy from Slipknot decided, "You know what, I think Jesus could cure my excessive emo..." Since then, punk rock has gained a name by with the likes of Sum 41, Blink 182, +44, DD, 12 Awkward Monkeys, and Product 1,093,892,867,283,452.
[edit] The Legacy
Punk rock has effected thousands of.. you know, what, who the fuck am I kidding? Only a few people in the entire world remember back when punk rock was actually good, and they only *remember* it as good; chances are that it SUCKED. So really, screw punk rock. Normal modern rock and metal should be enough. Till then...
