Queen Christina

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Queen Christina of Sweden: One of history's most powerful butterfaces

“She was smoking hot, seriously.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Queen Christina

“I say this explicitly, that it is impossible for me to marry. That is the way it is for me. I just enjoy drunken orgies far too much”

~ Queen Christina on Marriage

“When one examines one's heart one finds that nothing can fill it or console it but God alone. But when one examines one's vagina one finds that a myriad of things can fill it, but few things fill it so well as a couple of stiff black cocks.”

~ Queen Christina on Religion

1 Queen Christina of Sweden
2 Government Policies
3 Religious Convictions
4 Favorite Drinks
5 Famous Lovers of Queen Christina
6 See Also

[edit] Queen Christina of Sweden

Queen Christina of Sweden (1626-1689) A.K.A. The Twelve Year Old Binge Drinking Harlot Queen, was known for her Devotion to God, her impressive ability to hold her liquor, and the fact that although she got more tang than Neil Armstrong, she was never impregnated (at least not by any mortal man, although she is rumored to have borne the illegitimate child of Chuck Norris)

[edit] Government Policies

Christina's lifestyle of booze and debauchery greatly influenced her governing. Her habit of granting titles to some of her various lovers led her to create 17 counts, 46 barons and 428 lesser nobles in ten years, as well as bestowing the title of "Lord Protector of all Vaginal Cavities" upon Chuck Norris. Christina also sold or mortgaged crown property representing an annual income of 1,200,000 riksdaler to provide herself, and her lovers with adequate booze.

[edit] Religious Convictions

Queen Christina was deeply religious, and very skeptical of Lutheranism, she eventually abdicated the throne, and converted to Catholicism (A crime in Sweden), she made it known that she did this "So I have an excuse to drink on Sunday Morning".

[edit] Favorite Drinks

Some of Christina's favorite Liquors include:

Colt 45 Malt Liquor (It is widely believed that Christina kept a stock on hand to please her black "Callers")
Gin (Warm from the bottle)
Miller High Life
Grey Goose Vodka
Absinthe
Communion Wine
Pure Grain Alcohol
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Leinies Creamy Dark
Captain Morgan Spiced Rum
Grog
I don't give a shit as long as it's alcoholic (She was known to sit in bars, and order as many as 37 of these exquisite cocktails in a day)