Rainbow
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“ The import of damn rainbows must go on in this fucking moment!! ”
~ Jeong-Il Kim on Rainbow
Rainbows are beautiful, inspiring arcs of colour, [yes, Yanks, we continue the coloUr argument here] spread out over the sky after a refreshing rainstorm. They are often accompanied by butterflies, unicorns, fairies and Skittles, and make one glad to be alive. Despite this, science has proven over and over that the rainbow is actually one of God's sick jokes, whereas he reminds people that if he feels like having a laugh, he can turn you into a homosexual.
When you see a rainbow, you'd better run and scream like a sissy girl because the hippies (which coincidentally are manifestations of God) are out to get you.
Additionally, Rainbow was an amazing rock band fronted by the rock god known as RONNIE JAMES DIO (see dio). Rainbow was a band of unequaled rock.
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[edit] Prevention
There is no way to prevent a rainbow, as it is usually created by Satan's minions as a trick after a rainstorm. However, you can take certain precautions: (and you suck)
- Wear sunglasses that make you look cool (but not in a Fonzie way)
- Invoke the sign of Christ with your index finger and thumb (also known as the "OK" sign)
- Wear a lead suit everywhere
- Rubber cement a Tin Foil Hat to your head
- Obtain anti-rainbow cloaking device
[edit] Other Uses
The act of rainbowing someone is often confused with a rainbow itself. For instance, when someone is annoying you repeat these words, "I rainbow you very much." When said these words either demonstrate how much you dont care about the other person, how much you appreciate the other person, or why you are racist against all hippies from Sweden. Be careful though, once you say, "I rainbow you very much," your friend may or may not chuck swedish meatballs from IKEA in your direction.
[edit] Cautionary Information
Faux rainbows are known as being an especially deadly weapon in Satan's arsenal. Rainbows Have been known to hunt and devour passenger airplanes, and more robust rainbows can crash a jet outright if it should collide with the rainbow's colorful leg. Rainbows also have been known to maliciously distract and astound denizens below, with prey especially being children, motorists, and librarians.
[edit] Spelling
The word is only spelled correctly when inserting the following HTML code:
<font color="red" size=+1>R</font><font color="orange" size=+2>A</font> <font color="yellow" size=+3>I</font><font color="green" size=+4>N</font><font color="blue" size=+3>B</font><font color="indigo" size=+2>O</font><font color="violet" size=+1>W</font>
That should look like this:
RAINBOW
W3C standards-obsessed pedants claim that this code is invalid Frontpage-esque crap, and the proper way to do rainbow text is:
<style type="text/css"> span { font-size: 115%; } .red { color: red; } .orange { color: orange; }
.yellow { color: yellow; } .green { color: green; } .blue { color: blue; } .indigo { color: cyan; }
.violet { color: purple; } </style> <span class="red">R</span><span class="orange">
A</span><span
class="yellow">I</span><span class="green">N</span><span class="blue">B</span><span class="indigo">
O</span><span class="violet">W</span>
It ends up looking the same, but it's supposed to be easier for blind people and people with text-only browsers and people with really advanced browsers and people who write the code in the first place to understand. But who cares about them?
[edit] Other little known facts
- Rainbows make me giggly (very giggly *giggle*)
- Contrary to popular opinion, you cannot actually "taste" a rainbow but if you could it would probally taste like dust.
- Captain Picard fires a rainbow phaser in Bloodrayne
- Also making it to the end of a rainbow will constitute a good hard rapeing. no condoms are allowed in the rape and it will not be enjoyable in any way.
- Gays always take a bit of rainbow before they start the day.
- The end of every rainbow is not a pot of gold, rather, they end in San Jacinto, California. If there are double rainbows, the more distinct of the two ends in San Jacinto, and the more faint one ends on my bed.
- God forbid there ever be a triple rainbow


