Rally Racing

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“Did I write down that there was a small jump past turn 38?”

~ Dead guy on Rally Racing

“Smooth and steady. I'm Mr. Smooth, and you're Mr. Steady.”

~ Some retard on Rally Racing

Rallying is a form of motor competition that takes place on public or private roads with modified production or specially built road-legal cars - in other words, cars that totally flip out and roll down mountains if you can't control them, but will still leave you alive by the end. This is usually in isolated areas or obscure wilderness where the manager of the team despirately hope for the drivers to get lost. This motorsport is distinguished by running not on a circuit, but instead in a point-to-point format in which participants and their co-drivers drive between set control points (stages), leaving at regular intervals from one or more start points. Rallies may be won by pure driving prowess, a deathwish, or bribery. It is a "sport" that is least watched due to a lack of competition. The "racing" is only one car on the track trying to achieve the best crash. For this reason, many spectator deaths occur then the spectator falls asleep watching one car go by another and falling over the railing.

Of all the disciplines of racing, Rallying is the only race form that requires the drivers to have superpowers. In order to compete the driver must have: super reflexes, super eyesight, and the power to excrete money (because cars never survive from a rally race, even if they're still technically in one piece).

Rally car on children's video game cover.

[edit] Rally Drivers

Chuck Norris: He has never lost a rally.....ever.

Superman: A once-glorified rally driver; unfortunately disqualified for life because it was discovered that he could (and would) carry his car instead of driving it.