Rambler
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The rambler was a line of cars made from the late 19th century onwards. They are notable for their award-winning designs and rancid smell of their owners.
[edit] A very, very brief history
Created as a means to destroy Queen Victoria in 1897, the Rambler quickly became the vehicle du jour for people not willing to walk. However, financial crisis dogged their progress from the late 19th century through to the swinging 1960s, and a number of unsavory characters took ownership for their own nefarious ends.
After the 1960s the Rambler continued to exist, but only as vehicles of mass derision (along with Ford and GM cars). Today they are largely forgotten, not least because there are none on the roads. However, the name lives on, currently in the soft, vile folds of Dick Cheney's hunchbacked form.
[edit] Known Rambler owners/manufacturers
- 1897-1914 - the Johnny B. Goode Perambulation Incorporation
- 1914-1930 - the Woodrow Wilson Lollipop Factory
- 1930-1950 - the J. Edgar Hoover Transvestite Motor Company
- 1950-1957 - the Nash Bridges Motor Company
- 1957-1983 - the American Motor's Ramblers Corporation (also made under license by Renault)
- 1983-1992 - the Slick Ronnie Oil Corporation
- 1992-2000 - the Slick Willy Sperm Corporation
- 2000-2004 - the Oscar Wilde and Crazy Motor Corporation
- 2004 - the John Kerry Rambling Waffler Corporation
- 2004-present - the Dick Cheney Army of Damnation (a.k.a. Halliburton)
[edit] Models of Rambler
- The Ambassador - a demented vehicle equipped with nucular weapons and driven by a small Texan chimpanzee.
- The Trout - Modelled after owner J. Edgar Hoover , it came equipped with a wardrobe filled with ugly women's clothing
- The American Bugaboo - manufactured during the height of the Cold War, and said to contain 36 hidden Soviet assassins waiting to cut of your genitals as you go to make out with your best girl at the drive-thru.
- The American Gigolo - a later and more commercially successful version for eh Bugaboo, geared more towards fashionable male prostitutes.
