Random Statistics
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“Statistics show I'm on 99.9% of the quotes.”
“76% of all statistics are made up.”
~ Smart arse on Statistics
“With a sampling error of ±3%!”
~ Another smart arse adding on the quote above
Random Statistics are statistics that are invented immediately and extemporaneously, and without any scientific support. 82.3% of all people have used random statistics in the past week, usually in an attempt to bolster a faulty argument. The phony statistics have ended the discussion 49% of the time. For more on random statistics, see a newspaper or watch television news.
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[edit] Where Did They Come From?
Random research has shown most people are under the impression that there's a science behind finding statistics for anything. Statistics have shown this to be completely true, at least 78% of the time.
However, roughly 66% of random statistics have no support whatsoever, in contrast with 33% of "scientific" statistics that are similarly invented.
[edit] Statistics about Random Statistics
Most people (about 97%, according to recent studies) make at least occasional use of random statistics. Statistically, however, there is a directly direct connection between one's level of education and one's use of random statistics.
For example, only 8% of high school drop-outs and menial laborers (janitors, fast food workers, groundkeepers, et cetera) use random statistics weekly. Among technical college graduates and white collar workers, weekly random statistics use jumps to the 30-40% range. Among school teachers, the weekly random statistics use rate is usually a bit over 50%. Computer programmers and electrical engineers use random statistics at least 75% of the time. Accountants, politicians and statisticians make use of random statistics at least 100% of the time, if not more frequently.
[edit] Irrelevant random statistics
If you're like the 73.18765% of people out there, you're probably printing this out to read on the pooper. We interviewed several different people in stalls to find this fact. Here are some statistics that really don't matter but are fun to read while squeezing one off.
- Hit the lottery: 1 of 53,567,422,456.
- Shaq's free throw percentage: 53%.
- Sex Panther: 60% of the time, it works every time.
- Your city will be hit with a Muslim suicide bomber: 1 of 3.
- You will read statistics: 1 of 1.
- Winners will win: 1 of 1.
- Losers will lose: 1 of 1.
- 100% of people have been part of at least one statistic.
- Your life will end by having a golf ball jammed in your nose: 1 of 4,027.
- People that need Algebra: 1 of 3,053,567,422,456.
- 99.2% of the time, this will take you to a random article.
- 86.32% of statistics are made up.
- 37.98% of people die at some point in their life.
- Chance that you will die a rich man, get all of your money stolen, be resurrected, then eaten by a grue: 41.2%
