Rasputin's Penis
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When "The Mad Monk" Grigori Rasputin was murdered in 1916, some claim he was also castrated. Since then, a number of people boasting to be in possession of his severed penis and testicles have come forth, although none of them have been able to prove the factuality of their claims.
[edit] History of the alleged remains
Some believe that the Russian Monk - Grigori Ra Ra Rasputin had his penis severed in a drunken bar-brawl in 1902. In 1916, Russian coroners investigating the murder of Rasputin found his 13 inch penis still stuck to his forehead. Contrary to popular belief the penis is not recognisable by it's size but by the pubic mound which is an exact copy of Ra Ra Rasputin's beard.
Old Mother Hubbard who was living in a cupboard near Rasputin at the time of the murder was said to of come in when she heard screams. She saw the alleged penis and kept it for luck. It was stored in a box by her bedside table until her death in 1972. Rumours that the penis was the much fabled bone she gave to a passing canine are now believed false across most of the north of Russia.
It was from here that the alleged genitalia were said to have been inherited by Rasputin's daughter, Bertha. Bertha claims to have kept them on display outside her house in a hanging basket disguised as a daffodil by the cunning use of yellow paint and egg boxes. Other sources suggest otherwise as it was sighted on numerous occasions running down dark alleyways in Moscow quite literally putting the willies up many a passing commie.
Russian KGB operatives working together with Russian Police headed a search party for the alleged penis. Some claimed it was trying to evade arrest, others claimed it was searching for Rasputin himself. After several lengthy poster campaigns and interrogations of suspects who were thought to be hiding the severed member the search came to a close.
It re-emerged in 2001 in Romania where the local constabulary mistook it for the now-extinct Bulgarian Bug, an easy mistage to make given the dense hair like protusions at the base of this beatle's long, thick snout. The penis was eventually adopted and put on display by Peter Stringfellow in his House of horrors museum. To this day it is still there along side Stringfellow's discarded whores. Peter Stringfellow claims just viewing the penis will cure impotence and has arranged an elaborate set of mirrors that allow him to view it from any of the umpteen bedrooms in his domicile.
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