Rasta

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You may be looking for Pastafarians and not even know it!

A mob of Rastafarians prepare for a riot

Rasta (sometimes Rastafarian) is the name given to a small niche of upper class, white Englishmen native to the fine land of Rastafaria. They are last line of politics in the country and have the final say over any new laws to be passed as well as constitutional amendments.

Rastafarians are known for their flowing grey dreadlocks, which in the past were only worn while they were presiding over criminal prosecution cases in a courtroom, along with colourful hats. But recently their behaviour has manifested itself elsewhere and Rastafarians are now second only to fans of the ballet for general disruption, rioting and trouble causing on the streets of England and regularly amass in large groups before rampaging through the streets on a campaign of terror. A hatted Rasta can now be spotted at over 85% of police confrontations.

Many of their judicial rulings cite precedent by Ethiopian Emperor Haile Selassie. In fact, their whole collection of law books is written by the late Emperor, a self proclaimed rasta and established the faith as a pygmy squid worshipper.

They are very dangerous and enjoy smoking menthol cigarettes, while listening to Khachaturian. It is important that you never come before one, especially with your trousers down, life imprisonment is the only language these men deal in.

Rastafari claim to reject "-isms". They see a wide range of "isms and schisms" in modern society and want no part in them, for example organism, theism, pacifism, liberalism, and environmentalism.

Many coverts to Rasta have converted after eating moldy cheese before bed while listening to Bob Marley. Bob Marley's spirit then appears to them in their sleep. He then says,"Just hit this shit mon.(referring to a joint of marijuana)." After hitting the joint they then become one with the universe and convert to Rastafari. The Rasta Spirit is now a part of them. They also have a current ICBM Nuclear Weapons Development Program, based under a Marijuana Soup restaurant 5 km from Montego Bay. The Facility is staved by Black guys wearing those funny looking rainbow hats who speak in a funny accent.

another similar article: rasta-nomads