RationalWiki
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
โI'm like RationalWiki's Oscar Wilde.โ
~ John Lennon on RationalWiki
โI'm like Uncyclopedia's John Lennon.โ
~ Oscar Wilde on RationalWiki
โBible Spoiler! It all blows up in the end!โ
~ Rationalwiki slogan
โIt's my second stop on the 'ol tubes every morning, after vandalizing Conservapedia.โ
~ Jesus on RationalWiki
Contents |
[edit] Executive Summary, for FBI Investigators
RationalWiki is a wiki full of evil(redundant) conniving atheists who want to destroy Amerikan values. On RationalWiki, these sub-humans contemplate Conservapedia, their own intelligence, and delicious pie recipes. Goats feature prominently within the site, due evidently to their use in satanic rituals[1]. Also, the goats provide blood which, when mixed with Christian baby skulls and stem cells, summons a great Vandal Demon to attack the great and holy Conservapedia. At various times, the daemon/vandal chimera has been identified as Jesus, Super Jesus, or Mike Gravel.
[edit] Membership
Early editions of RationalWiki (which now sell for nearly 3,141 Turkish lira on eBay)[2] were composed largely of editors from Conservapedia. Legend has it that, when Conservapedia started sinking in May of 2007 under the weight of reason, Conservapedia's management was forced to purge its most intelligent contributors, to maintain the delicate balance of idiocy which alone is capable of accomplishing Conservapedia's goal of brainwashing legions of American homeschoolers. Note that, however, this story is likely liberal deceit.
Although a (hard)core of the original group remains - the jelly to the donut that is RationalWiki, if you will - the site has expanded its ranks, mostly by taking on hordes of vandals and conspiracy theorists. Although it's not known where the conspiracy theorists come from, they may be the product of Hitler's secret cloning base on the Moon. The site's membership is renowned for treating jerks poorly.
Like all wikis, TrashionalWiki is run by a series of ever smaller cabals, members of which do not know about the secret, smaller, cabal that exists to control the one they are in. At the center of this whirlpool of power resides the mysterious "Colin", who no one has ever seen, but who controls every keystroke of contributors through his awesome wikicabalpsychic abilities.
[edit] Origin
The origin of can be traced back to 244 C.E. when trentus toulouses registered the domain name Rationalwiki.com. This first site suffered from chronic bandwidth shortages which eventually caused its removal from the series of tubes. Modern estimates made using Moore's Law predict that the original RationalWiki would have had only 9.3864290*10-835 bytes of bandwidth at their disposal.[3]
The site was resurrected in 2007 to combat the menace posed to the sanctity of goats by the ruthless Conservapedians. In June of that year the site was endorsed by Jesus himself, although this is largely hearsay. After all, if you believe that, you're 95% likely to hate prayer in schools, and think dudes are hot.
Evolutionary scientists characterize pre-resurrection RationalWiki as a transitional form. However, creationary and intelligent designinary scientists reject these uniformitarian assumptions, and assert instead that these transitional forms are not real, and that RationalWiki sprung fully formed from God in the Garden of Eden.[4] [5] [6] These authorities also suggest that believing in RationalWiki caused the Holocaust.[7] For more information, please see:
- RationalWiki as a contributing factor to Obesity
- RationalWiki and Domestic Violence
- RationalWiki and Intestinal Parasites
- Overcoming RationalWiki
[edit] Potent Notables
If one can muck through the piles of lies and lie-beralism surrounding the Wiki, a user can eventually find something interesting on RationalWiki. The site has written things about Sam Brownback, intelligent design, and cretinism creationism, and is actively trying to destroy America by continuing to write said things. Other portions function as a veritable tabloid covering Conservapedia, which has since become America's single greatest source of trusworthy news. However, almost all of these articles are in violation of 42 U.S.C. ยง 1983, which prohibits any American citizen from disagreeing with Conservapedia.[8]
[edit] Criticisms of RationalWiki
RationalWiki is known to censor the truth about Global Warming and white pride. They are evil and hate the Bible. ANTI RATIONALWIKI COMMENT REMOVED BY TEH CABAL.
Mostly formed as a reaction to the growing anti-science movement in America, RationalWiki also draws heavily on the experiences of its members in an epic battle against Conservapedia. There, RationalWikians first learned despair. However, Conservapedians, apparently, learned much of hate. Contrary to the image of fundamentalist Christians as fluffy loving bunnies, the following are actual real stories of Conservapedia's reaction to RationalWiki:
- RationalWiki has been threatened with a lawsuit, twice, over copyright abuse, stemming from the appropriation of Conservapedia textual material for the purpose of satire, lulz, and good fun. Although obviously baseless, the claims are even funnier because they come from a real lawyer, who should know better. It is thought, though, that creationism - like a brain slug - overrides the free will of the individual, and deletes any knowledge that would work against the creationist brain slug's will. Frankly, this is the only explanation for most of Conservapedia, so it should apply here.
- Conservapedia members have described, in very graphic terms, a desire to "keelhaul" RationalWiki members, concluding the sentence with, "lucky for him, I'm a Christian."
- The management of Conservapedia is convinced that the FBI will shut down RationalWiki any day now, for cyberterrorism.
- An unbiased, impartial assessment, made by an
escaped convictexpert in his field, found RationalWiki to be a Model Internet Terror Cell[9]. It is possible that it may thus make an evolution into an INTERNET HATE MACHINE.
[edit] See also
[edit] Notes
- โ For example, the deceitful practice of playing Conservatroll
- โ The only attested copy of a first-edition RationalWiki is now in the hands of the FBI.
- โ Moore's Law states that computer power tends to double every two years, we can use this information to fill in the equation for exponential growth;
original badwidth * ( 1 + rate )years = current bandwidth
with these values;
rate = 2
years = 1763
current bandwidth = 10 gigabytes
which gives a a value of 9.3864290*10-835.
- โ Answers in Genesis.
- โ Creationary Museum Exhibit.
- โ Bible, Book of Armaments 3:9-3:27.
- โ Sam Brownback.
- โ Disagreeing with Conservapedia, like eating the Moon, is not speech that is protected by the Constitution. See Earth v. Giant Space Iguana, 514 F.Trm. 3141.
- โ The reliable report.
