Raymond Scott

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Scott brothers working on something in their factory.
Scott brothers working on something in their factory.

The Raymond Scott Quintette were electrical conductors, violators, composters and inventionists. They invented cartoons, including many credited to Tex A. Very, Chuck Jonz, Fritzl Freling, and Bob "Jed" Clampett.

Contents

[edit] Biographies

The five Raymond Scotts (sometimes Raymonds Scott), better known as The Raymond Scott Quintette, were born in Manhattan, New York in 1908. They were separated at birth by their older brother, who sent the quibblesome quints to different schools so they would stop trying to control each other's behavior. Originally called "The Raymond Scott Sextette", one of the member (Clem Scott)'s musical abilities were poor, and he was killed by the remaining quints. Apart from that, they liked the crispy sounding "quintette" better, and thought the use of "sextette" was a bit inappropriate as it sounded too much like "straw hat". The brothers had nothing to do with straw hats whatsoever. When they performed in Hillbillywood on film, they resented the implication that they were hayseeds, declaring, "We are musicians, not yodelers." History has shown, however, that they were misquoted.

[edit] Their music

In 1945, Raymond Scott developed the notion of creating music that sounded like the music used in 1980s videogames. Electronium was born. "Wow!," said the New York Waste of Times. "It's like inventing retro in reverse!" This chemical element was used to make regular music sound older than it wasn't. Scott also wrote songs with funny titles, none of which we remember at present. Oh—"Serenade to a Wealthy Widow" was ... no, that wasn't one of Raymond's.

A one-time collaboration with sax player Jerry "Foghorn" Leghorn and The Sioux City Mariachi Band (led by methedrine-abuser Alejandro "Speedy" Gonzales) in 1934 sparked the myth that The Raymond Scott Quintette made music for cartoons. That is a lie, as proven by numerous online citations (that we can't locate at this writing, but trust us). They sued Warner Bros. for using their music in 1967, which subsequently led to the infamous trial of July 23th, 1967. That day, cartoon violence was born and Scott made a fortune, which he converted to traveler's cheques which he used to pay bills and buy chocolate for the remainder of his life.

[edit] Musical heritage

The musical heritage of Raymond Scott to the music industry is of such big importance, you can easily say that it's of huge importance, if not enormous. The scope of the enormity is difficult to gauge, as conventional methods of measurement simply cannot quantify Scott's influence. So you'll have to trust us again. (We didn't lie to you the first time, so please extend the courtesy trust.)

[edit] Instruments

Toy trumpets, organs, pocket calculators, helium, the tuba, piggy banks and some violins were the instruments Raymond Scott sold, because he sucked at playing them. Raymond Scott was a master of several flutes, and therefore recognized as such in Austria and other German speaking countries surrounding it, and Argentina.

[edit] Other Stuff They Are Accused Of

In 1968, the Quintette ran, simultaneously, as third-, fourth-, fifth-, sixth-, and seventh-party Presidential candidates. Most of them lost.

Did you hear the one about the kangaroo who walks into a bar and orders a Harvey Wallbanger? The RS Quints wrote that joke, but neglected to provide a punchline.

[edit] Electrography (Selected)

[edit] See also (Selected)

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