Realdoll
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Realdoll is a product designed to combat loneliness in geeks, nerds and peadophiles.
The lifelike, lifesize, like-so-expensive, sex doll is a great innovation for those with bad breath or a beard.
It is available in female, male, porn star, and Richard Simmons. They are made from silicone and frozen jell-o for the genitalia. This gives a stimulating thrill to the user. There are rumors that Gary Sinise is very unhappy that "Charlie" looks just like him. He is suing the company for 23 bajillion dollars for pain and suffering.
The cost of realdoll is only $2.9 billion. As you will agree, vastly cheaper than actually getting married in order to have sex.
The most popular ever model was the sexinator. It had the head of Pamela Anderson, the breasts of Anna Nicole Smith and the penis of Al Gore.
The future of Realldoll lies in the manufacture of robotic cyber sex dolls. These will be able to perform the usual sex functions, then get up and get you a beer from the fridge afterwards.
[edit] Realdoll competitors
- Realwhore - This much cheaper version of sex doll is made of recycled carrier bags. The wig is highly flammable. She is supplied naked, with a a list of charity shops in your area to purchase some clothes from. This doll is suitable for only the cheapest, crummiest nerds.
- MyPetSheep - This is a blow up sheep, with added oral, vaginal, and anal entry points. It has a sound chip that can 'baaaa' as you cum. Fairly good quality, and so much easier than catching the real thing. Shows no tell-tale 'fluffy wool' remainders either.
- SexCactus - This latex sex cactus is so much fun. Dress it in sexy lingerie, play with it, carress it, you will never get bored! It's not just for masochists.
- McDonalds Double Cheeseburger - McDonalds recently found that no one wanted to eat many of their food items, especially after the critically acclaimed hit movie "Supersize Me", a documentary about the many sexual uses of McDonalds foods, came out. Therefor McDonads started an aggressive campaign to get people to fuck their Double Cheeseburger, with ad banners showing a hip nerd thinking sexually of one. McDonalds sex toys come pre-lubricated and are totally biodegratable and eco-friendly.
