Reality

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

Reality has a well known liberal bias.

~ Stephen Colbert on reality

Liberals have a well known aversion to reality

~ Conservatives on liberals

You're both fucking deluded

~ Reality on conservatives and liberals

What is real? Define real. Webster's Dictionary defines real as 'Not Artificial'.

~ Morpheus in Downloaded on reality

Reality has become a commodity. [1] "Reality has become a commodity." ~Garrett Heil.... Explanation: Stephen Colbert owes me 5 dollars for being the second person to put this on wikipedia because he said he'd give 5 bucks to the first, and since it's been proven that 1=2 he owes ME the money!!! [2]; which actually means that since 5x1=5, and 1=2, 5=5x1=5x2=10, he owes me 10 dollars!!!!! PAY UP STEPHEN!!! ~Garrett Heil In and of itself, it is a controversial concept asserting that 'things' are 'there' and this is somehow indisputable. This belief isn't highly accepted in the scientific community as it has little verifiable evidence behind it. Often dismissed as a pseudo-scientific study created by New Age beliefs, the ideas and philosophies behind 'reality' have been thoroughly debunked by today's leading researchers, and is widely regarded as a 'crutch for the weak' or a coping mechanism for depressed anarchic people who want to believe something exists 'out there' or 'anywhere', or in extreme cases, 'somewhere around here, but I think I lost it. Oh man I hope nobody found it. That was my last one. Fuck.'

If it weren't for reality, the universe we would exist in wouldn't, and so neither would we.

The only good thing that has yet to come out of reality is Big Mama.

Still, Eastern belief systems refuse to give up on the theology-based concept, and continue studying it in vain, spreading their paranormal pseudo-sciences of reality to white countries and even appearing publicly. As many remember from an interview by a credible news source titled "Does reality exist?", a believer responded to criticism of his study by saying "What? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! Cripes! Humanity has known this shit for millenniums before America's best-selling nihilist 'scientists' started telling you it's all a big hoax/hallucination/delusion. Are you really so gullible and ignorant that you would -- oh shit!" Just then, the video ended abruptly as the researcher was restrained and sent back to the parking lot via the window. And so the believers in these supernatural 'reality' phenomena suffered a major blow to their credibility, as well as their head, ribcage, spleen, kidneys, and most of their spine thanks to some asshole that double-parked.

Contents

[edit] Infos

Reality is blue, man.
Reality is blue, man.

The world is the place wot we all are. From this one can immediately deduce that it must be a wondrous place full of stuff.

An ironic bit of information is that whenever somebody adds something to this page, they do it on a page called "Editing Reality." If only it really were that easy.

Reality has become a commodity As with anything else used to collect stuff some of it is good stuff and some of it is bad stuff. But how can you tell the difference I hear you ask ? Simple. Just look. No, really just look. No, look again and for JEESUS H CRIST sake PAY ATTENTION !

In the beginning you'll be able to tell the difference as if it's good stuff it will make you happy. If it's bad stuff it will make you sad. The problem is that if you keep looking hard enough you'll eventually realise that the two states are interchangeable. In other words the bad stuff starts making you happy and the good stuff starts making you sad.

Begorrah ! Before you know what month it is you can no longer tell the difference. Shortly thereafter comes the point when you feel the need to try explaining this to people and you notice they immediately start fidgeting, make a polite excuse and leave.

But, like a bloodhound with the scent, you keep looking at stuff. The next stage is that your spouse leaves you, your friends disown you, your children voluntarily go into care and you keep getting thrown off public transport.

Before you know what's happened you're sitting in some JEESUS H CRIST awful concrete block style day care centre and wonder why you're wearing restraining shackles? and when did I get my head shaved? I don't recall joining the Hare Krishnas. Last thing you know is that you're left on your own a lot and passing insects start providing your only form of conversation.

But despite it all you still can't get to grips with all the bloody stuff. Where did it all come from ? Who put in there ? What possible use can it all be ?

Bah... The world. Who needs JEESUS H CRIST. .... me. i do. give me cocaine man mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm coke =P I mean, what is the point in a smiley. What is a smiley? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE?!?!?!?!?! OK, I'm jumping off a bridge.

I'm happy 'cause I have cake.

Reality is a form of being invented for people who can't handle drugs. mmmmmmmmmm drugs

Its like irc, only with less text and more gravity. Reality is the new puberty.

[edit] Reversal

Since Reality doesn't really match the world as you know it, this plane of existence has grown its own type of Reversal as more and more people notice mismatches between what exists in Reality and the world around.

For example, it is a know fact that in USA you can drink Coke, but in Reality Coke drinks YOU!! A very similar thing applies to smoking as in USA you can smoke a cigarette, but in Reality the cigarette smokes YOU!!

[edit] Reality in Fiction

Reality made an appearance in the G-Police series of videogames, where it wages a terrible war against Grice Bad Evilmonster.


[edit] See also

Personal tools
projects