Recep Tayyip Erdogan

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RTE at the world bird flu conference February, 2006... "I fear no chicken!!"
RTE at the world bird flu conference February, 2006... "I fear no chicken!!"
The party banner is an euler approximation of Recep Tayyip Erdogan
The party banner is an euler approximation of Recep Tayyip Erdogan

“Once I was invited to this really awesome party, but then someone told me RTE was holding it. I didn't go, I mean who makes a party with a lightbulb theme?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Recep Tayyip Erdogan

“Dude! you totally ruined my invention!”

~ Thomas Edison on Recep Tayyip Erdogan

“We first thought that RTE was a german tv channel”

~ Kofi Annan on Recep Tayyip Erdogan

“How can 16 million people be so dumb?”

~ A politic magazine in Turkey. on Voters of AKP

“He doesn't seem to like Ataturk.”

~ Captain Obvious on Recep Tayyip Erdogan

Reco Tayyo Erdoğon(b. 1 May 1987),the high chieftain of United Gobblers, is widely known for throwing insane parties and holding majority in da house.

RTE is known to have shaken hands with many world leaders such as King of Saudi Arabia, King Abdullah,Yasin El-Kadı and albeit without proof, Ghengis Khan.

Contents

[edit] Personal Life

Tayyip Erdoğan is the Prime Minister of Turkey. Generally referred to as RTE by media, or "Reco" by his friends and "The King of Queens" by Leah Remini, a famous Scientologist and a family friend, he's a tall, dark, macho man. Born in Zambia, Sweden as the only kid of a famous sculptor (See Bedri Baykam), the young Tayyip initially sought a career in football, but because he was unappreciated he had to leave the football club and become emo. In his broken stage,the emo Tayyip was approached by the islamic fundamentalist leader Necmettin Erbakan, and was coerced into the dark side with promises of absolute power and leet skillz. However, due to a clerical error he accidentally became second in command to Erbakan, instead of becoming a suicide bomber. 0__93585_00_1_.jpg


He usually spends time with buddies he met over internet, Abdullah Gül and Bülent Arınç. They help people organize protests to protect Turkish secularism. Because he met his buddies over Internet, now they're working on a program to talk with Iran, Syria and Arab Emirates to play online poker.

His favourite dreams are the ones where he could have 5 women and do them at the same time. Unfortunately, he is not allowed to do that and he has to be satisfied with only one.

[edit] Politics

Recep Tayyip and his party (AK Parti), first failing on a career as a Psychedelic Rock band, later pursued a life of chastity and politics. Before the general elections Tayyip made pacts with Satan, Zombie Jesus and Darth Hitler to summon evil minions to take over Turkey, however when his party won the elections by a landslide (He never expected it, he has been cited to say "well whatever" when entering the elections), he had to send the evil minions back which was deemed as very rude and caused the First Underworld War between the Turks and the Nazis, Zombies and Demons. Hiding in the basement during the war, Tayyip wrote haikus and played WoW. It is a widely known fact that Ahmet Necdet Sezer, the President of Turkey, occasionally visited and beat-up Tayyip in this timeframe for his nerdiness. After the war ended with French capitulation, Tayyip vowed revenge on the President, saying "Newman!!" and has been trying to attain this post ever since.

The official logo of his party (a lightbulb) is said to have been inspired by his private parts (his head). He's most noted for his line: "The Boot Camp is no place to dilly-dally", raising reactions from Russian Nutcrackers. He later had to apologize formally by revealing a statement in Braille, which basically consisted of lines "I will not apologize for what I said, nor for my silly hat." The famous statement was spell-checked by Ray Charles, prior to his untimely death.

He is currently planing on changing the Turkish flag (Moon and the Star) into his favourite game, Pacman.

Recep Tayyip pursued a rigid policy of siding whatever is popular at the time, including but not limited to:

. . .

[edit] Personality and Skills

RTE is capable of showing multiple personalities due to the time of day, location, air pressure, people's DNA and of course if he is facing Chuck Norris. These personalities vary from an insecure emo kid to a wild roadshow salesman. Some psychologists say that he has as many identities as the number of twists and turns on a tungsten wire in a light bulb. By the year of 2007, he was last seen in his religious, hippi attitude in which he can kiss the hand of a muslim arabian sheyh without thinking if he had washed his hands after going to the bathroom. He is pretty happy when he is surrounded by his bodyguards so he walks around with them all the time. it is said that when he goes bungee jumping his bodyguards jump with him as well, providing him a full protection through the first strecth, until they collide to the ground. it is well known that he suffers from a severe ataturkphobia, an illness that is seen in some turkish people wearing medieval clothing.

With addition to this exceptional personality he has perks and skills like falling from a horse and get kicked by it without getting hurt, insulting farmers and making discounts for foreign opportunists. He holds the world record in tying a turban to a woman's head category, with a timing degree of five seconds. He says "I dont care about women, package design is more important than you think". RTE doesn't believe in knowing foreign languages would help as a prime minister so he has trained himself in computer hacking instead. He attempted to hack IMF's computers to get some loans and has been caught twice. So now he is looking for Muslims secret pot of gold to pay back his dept.

[edit] Likes

  • joke cigars
  • Hats (stated above)
  • Horses (Mainly of Arab descent)
  • Football
  • Oprah
  • Kosher Chicken Drumsticks
  • Being the Supreme Authority (he ran for Papacy once in 1990, but lacked the necessary red loafers.)
  • Penalty shoot-outs
  • Leather Gloves
  • Matrix style sunglasses
  • Reading poetry
  • Sledgehammers (A reference to the time when he fainted in his limo and accidentally got locked in the car, later to be rescued by his private chaffeur, Thor, by breaking the front window of the car with a sledgehammer.)
  • The Sesame Street
  • European Union
  • Ülker Chocolate Bars (Ulker is a famous chocolate company residing its headquarters in Turkey, and is a religious counterpart of Wonka. The Oompa-Loompas are made to wear turbans. Sadly.)
  • Unakitan's eggs (pasteurized actually)
  • Golden Tickets for Presidency
  • Farmers' Mom
  • Selling the country

[edit] Dislikes

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