Reception

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A reception is usually held after a wedding. This is a major party, held by the bride's family to recoup some of the wedding expenses. Receptions can usually be classified into one of two categories: Awesome and Lame. There is usually a theme to the reception - something that is special to the bride and groom. It may be related to the place they first met, a special gift one gave the other, or the fact that both of them have given up on their social lives.

People that are invited to the reception are expected to bring gifts. These are things the (un)happy couple need or want as they begin the rest of their long, sexless lives together. Usually, it is bad form for the bride or groom to request weapons of any sort, but that doesn't mean it never happens. The amount each guest spends on a gift should be commiserate with the amount of money they have now saved buying rounds of drinks now that one more friend is out of circulation.

One of the most important traditions for receptions is the tossing of the bouquet. Basically, what happens is the bride turns her back on all the eligible women in the crowd and hurls flowers at them. Whoever catches the bouquet is forced into being the next to marry. Of course, the whole process makes it plainly evident which women at the wedding are so hard up for a date that they'll use superstition to help them get a man. Sometimes, when the bride is in a vindictive mood, the flowers will be black roses or poison ivy, further pointing out the trepidation of being single. Although this seems like an event solely designed to stigmatise single women, it also serves to help drunken men find them.

Similarly, the bride's garter is thrown by the groom. The man that catches it gets to spend the wedding night with the bride and groom holding the camcorder. The garter catcher is also responsible for mercilessly hitting on all the bridesmaids and, occasionally, the bride's mother (especially if she is divorced).

Below are the indicators of what kind of reception you just went to, or a guide on how to plan the reception you want.

[edit] Awesome Receptions

An awesome reception is one in which at least 4 of the following things happen:

Copious amounts of alcohol are consumed
Many people dance, including the bride's mother, someone's grandma, and the flower girls
A fight breaks out
The Best Man gives a great speech
One of the bridesmaids loses her top
Someone hooks up with a bridesmaid in a closet, back room, car, or port-a-potty
Someone dances on a table
Someone's mother does a cartwheel
The cops show up
It ends after 2am