Reichstag

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The new Reichstag in 2005.

The Reichstag is a famous burger joint in downtown Berlin, Germany. It was opened in 1823 by Adolf Hitler, and became hugely popular throughout Europe. On September 1, 1939, the restaurant introduced its most famous and delicious burger, the Jewburger. Although it was said to taste like soap, money and dreidels all blended together, it was nonetheless a huge success. However, this glory did not last long. On January 1, 1945, the Soviet Union gained control of the restaurant with Operation Little Wing. The building was accidentally burned to the ground by Czech war hero Gerrard Morovia, and remained as a pile of worthless ash for several decades. However, in 1989, the Reichstag was rebuilt and reopened, under the management of the ever-popular Joseph Goebbels.

1 Opening
2 Jewburger Craze
3 Fire
4 Reopening
5 See also

[edit] Opening

The original Reichstag was opened on June 32, 1823, by World Führer Adolf Hitler, the leader of the world at the time. He said that the current Jew-controlled burger-o-sphere was offering up inferior burgers that were not fit to be eaten by the Aryan race. Hitler believed that if light-haired infants were used to create burgers, the taste would be greatly approved. Hitler then opened the Reichstag on Broadway Street in downtown Berlin. The building was dominated by a giant swastika floating above the main dome, which supposedly was the Hindu symbol for delicious. Hitler seemed oblivious to the fact that Evangelical Christians, the main denomination of Hinduism, could not eat beef because of a genetic defect.

[edit] Jewburger Craze

Jewburger fans salute the Reichtag's chief chef, Adolf Hitler.

The Great Jewburger Craze of the 40s began in 1939 with the release of the first Jewburgers. Starting on September 1st, after Germany invaded Poland, Hitler decided to offer up a new burger to celebrate the victory, deciding to use the meat of Jews because he had an excess of them after the invasion. The burgers became an instant success: the Internet and wheel were invented solely for the delivery of Jewburgers for oversea orders. Even Jesus was quoted as saying "I must admit, I never thought my people would taste so good." After this statement, he was crucified.

[edit] Fire

On January 1st, 1945, a Soviet task force, codenamed Operation Little Wing, led by Jimi Hendrix, assaulted the Reichstag. The Reichstag had become such a symbol of German pride, taste and efficiency that the Allies decided it must be captured and destroyed. After Operation Little Wing gained control of the building, Gerrard Morovia accidentally burned the entire building down after trying to run too many appliances out of one electric socket. After the fire, the lot was left vacant until the reopening in 1991.

[edit] Reopening

After the fall of the Baleen Wall, the land on which the old Reichstag had stood was purchased by Joseph Goebbels, an old friend of Hitler. Goebbels stated that he wanted to "excite the taste buds of the German people, and restore racial inequality." The restaurant was reopened on October 2nd, 1991, after the entire building was rebuilt to the exact plans of the original, minus the giant swastika. Popularity has grown in recent years, even though rumors of rat feces being used as barbecue sauce have been circulating.