This horrible game was Nintendo's last ditch attempt to market to people too poor to buy the new SNES. Unfortunately, this actually drove many of their customers to buy a CD-i system (yes, all 11 of them...)

Introduced in 1995 as a final run of NES titles, this game was limited to 20 copies and distributed to very disappointed children all across North Dakota in contaminated boxes of Cheerios. Consisting solely of Link looking for his lost tights, the climax of the game comes when the game's final boss, Blue Screen of Death, attempts to keep Link from searching eBay for a suitable replacement of his leg coverings.

You can see a glint of happiness in his eye.

One of the first Mario titles to be proposed for the Super NES, this idea didn't fly with Nintendo execs saying "The game won't sell without Mario's name in the title". Having changed the title to "Mario is Missing" it sold less copies once people learned you can't play as Mario.

This Game featured Meowth, Jesse, James, Ash, Misty, and Brock. They all got tired of fighting, and they decided it was time for a little fun. ;) It was planned for GameCube, and was going to use the Donkey Kong Bongo Drums for a mini game called "Jesse: Red Hair, Red Ass." The game was cancelled when Nintendo realised that Misty was flippin disgusting under her clothes.

Apparently, video games are the only way to learn to poop. Especially on the Pooper Nintendo!

During the 1980s, many companies tried to capitalize on the growing educational software and games market. The Hello Kitty company, which puts it's face everywhere from pencils to stationery to underwear to actual cats couldn't seem to get their video game version of "Everybody Poops" off the ground.

In yet another failed venture to try and keep a near-obsolete system profiting, the ever money-grubbing Lars Ulrich accepted Nintendo's offer to make a video game based on his own rudimentary managerial skills. Released for the Nintendo 69

Metallica, having just hired a new bassist and Nintendo, having just released a new system both needed a way to keep things that should have died long ago alive. In a brave attempt, Lars and Co teamed together with Nintendo in hopes to keep both parties profiting. In short, Nintendo released the Gamecube and Metallica released St. Anger. You do the math.

Whilst doing math, you could control the input prompt by moving the Nintendo 69's butt plug stuck in your butt. People could get a Nintendorgasm if they got every math problem correct.

Truth be told, Metallica endorsed the game from their own pockets. Nintendo pulled the pin after hearing the lyrics from one of their songs "2x4", realising that the song actually made no reference whatsoever to mathematics.

I preordered 3 years ago, Goddammit!

Unlike most of Nintendo's rejected titles, this game would have been totally awesome. This game was awesome because it gave you orgasms while you looked at the screen. On it's release date, George W. Bush mistook the game for a Terrorist and captured the game for questioning. However, being a simple Video Game, it could not give away precious terrorist information, so the CIA got frustrated and proceeded to have sex with the game. After they were finished violating the oh-so sacred disk, they threw it into the toilet where it was lost forever, just like Hootie and the Blowfish. Little is known about the actual gameplay, as nobody has ever played it. Not even the Developers. So it just might be another pile of total shit after all. Who knows?