Relativism
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
“All is relative, except the absolute”
~ Oscar Wilde on relativism
“In my opinion, it is a fact.”
~ Darth Simpson and (in my opinion) many other people on relativism and other things
Relativism, more appropriately known as retardism, is the belief that everything is relative. That's at least what some think. Others think that relativism is a pile of horse droppings. Well -- that's their standpoint. Anyway, every relativist is against objective science since that which is said to be objective is just a standpoint amongst others. But then, on the other side, this is just a standpoint, so relativists cannot exclude the possible existence of an objective standpoint without becoming objectivists themselves -- and that really sucks. Relatively.
Some confuse relativism with the Theory of relativity by Albert Einstein. Most often this misinterpretation is made by relativists themselves. Einstein was an extreme objectivist; he even banned God for trying to play dice with existence. Relativists loves him anyway, not because he was smart or pacifist or Jewish or anything like that -- they like him because he is famous. Fame is the relativist's correspondence to truth. Since nothing is truer than anything else, the most interesting thoughts -- and persons -- are those who are famous.
Relativism is a very social attitude. It knows who said what about whom, and keeps track of who responded to them with what. Relativism is a User_talk page. Because of this, relativism is very popular amongst social scientists. They don't have to study so much if they are relative.
It's enough just to keep an eye on the talk page.


