Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy

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The Republic of Bill Nye the Science Guy was first established on August 19th, 2003, following a brutal military takeover of Kazakhstan by General Bill Nye, known for his work on the educational, albeit perverted, television show Bill Nye the Science Guy. Bill Nye assumed power over the country the day after the takeover (the delay had been caused by disagreements with fellow commanding officer Abraham Lincoln's zombie. Within a few days however, an attempted coup, led by George W. Bush, attempted to overthrow the new government. Fortunately for the Republic, military aid from Paris Hilton came and did away with Bush's military forces. However, Bill Nye soon assumed dictatorial powers, and slaughtered several political enemies, including Lincoln. His administration has since been involved in several worldwide disputes over the usage of the Budweiser parasite...

[edit] Initial Statements and Plans

Plans to take over Kazakhstan first emerged in 2000, following the election of President Borat in Kazakhstan. Bill Nye had long been a political enemy of Borat, considering him "traitorous and insolent," and even making blatant remarks of Borat on his television show. Supporters of Bill's belief of Socialism and a branch-off belief known as Nyeism began to organize a revolution. Bill Nye soon fell into the position of chief commander of what he considered to be an anti-Borat army. The Nyeist cause was soon recognized by many world powers and regimes, as well as corporations such as Monsanto. In fact, Monsanto supported the Nyeist effort and proceeded to give them various forms of chemical weapons. The Nyeists were becoming ever more dangerous to Kazakh independence, especially due to an alliance with the Hilton Party, who had, before, arranged a similar effort in the Phillipines, got involved in a bloody war and won. It appeared revolution lingered ever closer.

[edit] Revolution

In March 2002, President Borat issued a state of emergency following an attack on the capitol of Kazakhstan by Nyeist guerillas. The United States and Russia aided Kazakhstan by donating weapons and supplies, but did not deploy any military forces into the troubled nation. However, Thailand was quick to respond to the invasion, and deployed an army of mutated telletubbies into Kazakhstan. Kazakhstan and Thailand signed an official treaty of alliance on January 2nd, 2003, but the Kazakh war effort was far from won. Several Nyeist victories took place in the following months. Thailand's telletubby army was growing ever weaker against Nye's forces, and, on July 8th, 2003, Thailand pulled out of the Kazakh territories, leaving Kazakhstan's army to fend for themselves. The Kazakh army weakened to Nye's attacks, and, finally, on August 19th, Nye's forces invaded the capitol, taking control of all the government offices.

[edit] Birth of the Republic

The following day, Borat was taken prisoner, and forced to sign a document declaring Kazakhstan was now Nyeist territory. However, several issues still remained. The Nyeist party nearly split in two when tensions between Nye and fellow general Abraham Lincoln heightened. Each claimed leadership of the new Republic. Finally, an agreement was reached, though not without some bloodshed. Bill Nye was unanimously chosen as leader of the Republic. A disillusioned Lincoln left Kazakhstan and went into exile in Tajikistan. However, because of U.S. support of Kazakhstan, problems still remained.

[edit] August 29th U.S. invasion

President Bush called for an invasion of the Republic of Bill Nye just a week and three days after the republic was formed. An attempted coup d'etat took place in the capitol city, which was met by a U.S. response: invade the Republic. The United States quickly sent a ground force of 3,248 troops to take back the Republic in the name of Kazakhstan. However, Nyeist military aid came in the form of the Hiltonist army who held back the U.S. forces long enough for Nyeist forces to arrive. The U.S. invasion was ended in roughly a month with little success. Meanwhile, Borat was allowed to leave the Republic on the condition he wouldn't return. He currently remains in political exile in the United States.

[edit] Dictatorship and Human Rights criticisms

Bill Nye has been accused of his alleged role in the 2006 Lincoln assasination and the 2007 Marijuana camp genocide. Bill Nye, who favored cocaine and tabasco (yes, Bill Nye thinks Tabasco is a drug) over marijuana, had issued many derogatory statements against the marijuana-dealing corporations before finally "snuffing them out" (literally) with several cans of Dildo-brand tobacco. The drugged-up C.E.O.'s were then forcibly removed from the factory by secret police hired by Bill Nye to slaughter them...