Retrophrenology
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Retrophrenology is the practical application of Phrenology. Instead of merely observing the bumps on the head of the subject, retrophrenologists attempt to find the bumps that cause problems, and remove them. |
Retrophrenology is the practical application of Phrenology. Instead of merely observing the bumps on the head of the subject, retrophrenologists attempt to find the bumps that cause problems, and remove them. Likewise, bumps with positive effects are often added.
[edit] History
Discovered in the late 1600s by a particularly clumsy executioner, it was found that actually killing the condemned was not always required, and that a particularly solid thump to the back of the head with the flat side of the axe occasionally resulted in instant and long-lasting rehabilitation. Through experimentation, the exact sweet spot on the skull was found, and criminals were often taken to the chopping block to have this spot hit before they were thrown into their cells, instead of after. After a few months, local jail attendance dropped to an all-time low.
[edit] Modern Retrophrenology
Today, modern retrophrenologists understand that the side of an executioner's axe is not always the best way to administer healing, and have started using a wide variety of blunt instruments. Chief among these include:
- Claw hammers
- Warhammers
- Those annoying little rubber hammers they test your reflexes with
- MC Hammers
- Mauls
[edit] Long-Term Effects
Retrophrenology has long been known to cause certain undesirable side effects. Chief among these have been a significant chance for a failed subject to develop SEHS, but this is a risk common in modern medicine. Likewise, placing incorrect bumps can cause at least as many problems as Retrophrenology can cure. Alert your doctor if you experience:
