Return to Castle Wolfenstein

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Return to the Castle of Dogenstienhelm is a first person racist computer game. Created in 1797 by iED and Actiblindness, it has been a breakthrough in games as we know it.

1 Plot
2 Character Bio
3 Weapons
4 Wolfenstien 3-D
- 4.1 Why is RtCW Better than RtCW 3-D?
- 4.2 What does 3-D have that regular RtCW doesn't?
5 Return to Castle Wolfenstein 2

[edit] Plot

The time period of the game is centered around Stardate 1.9,943 when the Axis of the Earth was researching sub-natural ways to win Galactic War XXL. When Hellga von Trap heads a search party for WWE super-star Heinriech, which she will use to take over the world and destroy the Allied armies. Exactly 1000 years ago, Heinriech was sent to prison by the ledgandary bounty hunter Booboo Fett.

Now it is the job of the British-American led army of two, made up of Agent 1.001 and Sergeant "B.J."-ed Moscowvitz. Upon landing, they run into trouble when Agent Won Point Zero Zero Won gets killed by a renegade scientist who looks (and might be) Einstein. It is Moscovitzs' duty to kill the doctor and investigate the strange plot. At the end of the game, you learn that Castle Dogenstienhelm is actually the where the Democrats secret base is. The game ends with the ugliest boss in the game: Hillary Clinton.A secret level can be found by killing the final boss in less than 0.000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 nanoseconds then you go a room where you will fight the boss named Zach Von DWERDESTINEKRACHENSWARTERBRAUCHEN!!!!!!!! thus giving me enough time to send your computer a virus.

[edit] Character Bio

Sergeant "B(low).J(ob)." Blascowitz is a super-hero member of the Just Is League. He is a relativist and believes everything "Just is". He was born in 3rd Quad, 4th Street, Atlantis, 199.483.21389.AS B.N. (Before Nukes). His parents were mermaids. His father was Zeus. HIs brothers are Bruce Willis and Rambo. His sisters are Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie, Pamela Anderson, and Bill Gates.

[edit] Weapons

The first weapon you get is a simple vibro-blade, given to you by Secret Agent Han Solo. Over the course of the game, you pick up weapons like the FAG-42 Paratrooper Rifle, the Venom Gum, the Snoopy sniper rifle, the Lamethrower, the Sten SMG, the Mauser rifle, the Tesla Gun, E-11 Master Blaster Rifle, Taser, Colon Arms Rocket Launcher, Panzie Faust (only shoots panzies), Death Star, Spyer Flash Paintball gun, and a Super Soaker 10 Gal. Water Gun., and many more.

[edit] Wolfenstien 3-D

Return to Castle Wolfenstien 3-D was a cheesy 3-D movie made in the early 1990th century. Its total of $1495 world-wide beat that of its rival movie "DOOM" and its Edited Version "DOOM-ED". Later upgrades in technology allowed for vacuum tubes to make the computer game (of the same name) run faster.

[edit] Why is RtCW Better than RtCW 3-D?

Well RtCW 3-d has no free-look, less blood and gore, graphics that suck sewage, bad sound ephects, fewer levels, no Nazi SS chicks with Sten SMG's, and no Agent Won Point Zero Zero Won.

[edit] What does 3-D have that regular RtCW doesn't?

Well, in RtCW 3-D you get the once in a life time opportunity to meet Hitler himself and his boyfriend. Everyone knows Hitler was gay and civil-unioned to Obi-four-gaynobi.