Rice burners

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

Contents

[edit] What is a rice burner??

A rice burner is an imported Japaneses Ricer(car) or a crotch rocket there extreamly gay cars for crackers that think the have the best car on the block when they really don't.

[edit] Origin

The origin of rice burners started in Japan in the year 1463 when emperor Kamikaze Hiroshima put nitrous oxide on his horse and took it to the strip, as he started a man split rice on the track below him, he burned out on the rice making a large amount of smoke, rice burners where officially born in the Japaneses empire. The man who split the rice was a general after that, and he crated a rice that was quite tasty after he cooked it with pork or shrimp, it was called pork/shrimp fried rice, and apparently Afroman ate a pussy like shrimp fried rice so it has to be pretty good, any way back to rice burners.


[edit] How rice burning spread

Rice burning spread like SARS threw Asia,Europe, and eventually made it to the United States, spreading quickly the american companies where basically screwed, intill the 1960's & 1970's came around rice burners like the Dotson lost millions of dollars because of the muscle car industry, the companies Kawasaki and Yamaha had to start making musical instruments, rice burners seemed doomed in intill the 1980s came about, rice burners had a drastic come back after Honda ammerged and Dotson was bought out by a new Jap company Nissan, american cars suddenly became gay because of a hugh deal the CIA made with the companies GM and Ford, the only thin that still stood in rice burners paths where the Chevy Camaro, Pontiac Firebird, And the Ford Mustang, after the fall of the Camaro and Firebird in 2001 the mustang has been struggling to survive.

[edit] Is there still hope??

Yes Yes Yes there is hope with the arrival of the Chrysler 300c srt and the Dodge Charger srt, the U.S. muscle car industry is making a come back mainly because the CIA deal is currently no longer, with the upcoming arrival of the Dodge Challenger, Chevy Camaro, and possibly the Pontiac Firebird there still is hope for muscle car lovers. Rice burning companies are currently switching to fuel saving hybrid gay cars, it seems the beginning of the end is here for the rice burning nation, no more fast and the furious movies, need for speed games, yes, but there will always be that one gay guy that tricks out his 90's honda civic, and i ask why? just why? THE END OF RICE BURNERS IS NEAR TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!!!


[edit] Old anti rice burning advancements that changed the world of rice burning industries forever

How do Americans compare to the rest of the world when it comes to rice burning?

It may come as no surprise to hear that Americans are no better than anyone else. According to the National Health Interview Survey (NHIS), Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, National Center for Health Statistics:

3) In the US, it is estimated that 25.6 million men (25.2%) and 22.6 million women (20.7%) are rice burning. These rice burners face a higher risk of heart attack and stroke.

Here are the latest estimates for rice burners aged 18 and above:

4) Studies reveal that rice burning popularity is significantly higher among people with 9-11 years of education (35.4%) compared with those with more than 16 years of education (11.6%). 5) There appears to be a correlation between a country's standard of living, level of education, and income and the number of people who have quit rice burning. The more and better informed people are, the more likely they are to quit rice burning. 6) People living below the poverty level (33.3%) are much more likely to start rice burning. 7) Among whites, 25.1% of men and 21.7% of women rice burn. 8) Among black or African Americans, 27.6% of men and 18% of women rice burn. 9) Among Asians, 21.3% of men and 6.9% of women rice burn. 10) Among Hispanics/Latinos, 23.2% of men and 12.5% of women rice burn. 11) Among American Indians/Alaska Natives, 32% of men and 36.9% of women rice burn. 12) A shocking . . . 1 out of every 5 deaths is caused by rice burning. 13) It is estimated that rice burning is responsible for 400,000 deaths in the US every single year. 14) rice burning is responsible for about 25% of deaths from residential fires, causing nearly 1,000 fire-related deaths and 3,300 injuries each year. 15) rice burning is blamed for many serious cardiovascular and pulmonary diseases. 16) rice burning is some of the most potent carcinogens and are responsible for the majority of all cancers of the lung, larynx, trachea, esophagus and bronchus. 17) rice burning is known to produce cancer in the pancreas, kidney, bladder, and the cervix. 18) Because rice burning reduces blood flow, rice burning addiction has been proven to cause impotency. 19) If you rice burn, the risk of respiratory illnesses is high. This could lead to pulmonary diseases such as chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and pneumonia, which are responsible for some 85,000 every year. 20) Children and adolescents who are active rice burners will have increasingly severe respiratory illness, as they grow older. 21) rice burning during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage and fetal growth retardation. It also causes about 5-6% of prenatal deaths, 17-26% of low-birth-weight births, and 7-10% of pre-term deliveries.

If you don't want to quit rice burning after reading these shocking figures, you really need to get your head examined. You know in your heart, what's the right thing to do. Make a firm decision to quit today, and stick to it!

Personal tools
projects