HowTo:Rick Roll Somebody
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βThe first time I've been rick rolled, it was a surprise. The next time, it got old instantly.β
~ Oscar Wilde on Rick Rolling
βI'm never gonna give it up, I'm never gonna let it down...β
~ Serial Rick-Roller on your rick roll
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So you feel like your friends are the hottest people in town. Talking about "Starcraft II" this and "Fallout 3" that. While all you have to talk about is what you did at school. (which is get bullied of course), the only game that you played which was some Barbie game that your parents got you, and what they were serving at dinner. Let's face it, your life is dull, boring and meaningless. You know what you need to do? You need to become more popular then you ever were, you need to be hip, cool, edgy. Unfortunately, you don't have the money or time to become what you want to be. And besides the way you look, you wouldn't be able to be cool anyways. So what do you do know, well show them your coolness by tricking your friends into a site via the usage of "hype" You need to show your friends a video of a gay guy dancing to music. What you need to do is rick roll somebody.
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[edit] So what is rick rolling?
Well Rick Rolling is a national phenomeon that was invented unknowningly in the 80's by Rick Astley himself as a descendant to rolling a duck down the hill, hence the name. You see. Rick Astley's Music Video contained what we called dancing for the time and what the producers saw was talent combined with that voice that resembled a gay guy. Basicly Rick's dancing was the epicenter of the entire video, cutting out every other man and woman who danced, including that black guy. Yeah I know! It's a shame. If you look at Rick and Rick only, and ignore everyone else in the entire video, you'll see that Rick seriously has the moves, all those other guys are just riding off of Rick's shadow.
Seriously, the video shows him at 3 different angles. Left, center, and right. You can clearly see the talent this guy has! And Rick Astley's beautiful voice that you hear the video makes it sound really, really gay. How gay? well it's gay because there is emotion everywhere. Something gay guys have, which makes this video worthy because you're only hearing his soul. Not his voice.
In the early days of Rick Rolling, people first tried to get people to listen to his song through lies and deception by sending it as packages to friends and giving it out to random people on the streets. But people were smarter back in the 80's. Easily seeing through a plot to get people to play the CD or play the music video that was available on VHS. But as years went buy, Al Gore invented the internets, allowing n00bs to be tricked by the rolling of the rick. In mathematical terms it's like.

And in essence, making people see the video gives them a certain feeling of regret, disappointment and annoyance. Furthermore, since you are the one actually pulling off the Rick Roll, they will naturally have a hatred against you. But don't let it weigh you down. Many famous people have been Rick Rolled. Including Tom Cruise, Scientoligists and Starcraft fans.
So know you know everything about Rick Rolling. The only problem is, how are you going to create it? I mean, you know nothing of what they're talking about so it would just come out as gibberish to you. Don't worry, that's what the next section is for, to teach you on how to do a rick roll.
[edit] How to rick roll
Click this link... http://bringvictory.com
Basicily what you need to know is this. You trick them into showing them the video via a link that claims to be something or something I dunno. But how are you going to trick them into showing you your video. Well we can't do it the old fashioned way, you know why?
That's why! You can see Rick Astley's face, which ruins the entire illusion of a rick roll. I don't want to see rick astley's face when I'm being rick rolled, makes it to obvious. So your best bet is to hide it in the form of an HTML address, something like http://www.rickroll.com. But seeing as how there's no possible way to do it here, I guess you can't get anywhere[1]. But the more important part is this, how the hell are you going to fool your friends, you never even played a game or used the internet beyond what your parents expect it to use it to. Well no fear because we can help you! What you should do is this, go to your local game store and buy a lot of games with the $100 bucks you stole from your mother's purse. Sure you will get mocked for being a n00b and being taunted as a n00b on the internet. But once you get past that, you now have the information to rick roll anyone. Just post on some random forum and say something like "NEW STARCRAFT II GAMEPLAY VIDEO" and work your magic, or lack of.
[edit] Anything Else?
No. That's it, unless you want to annoy them even more, then in this case. This part's for you. So you feel like you just posted your rick roll and people are calling you pathetic, well they're just jealous of your superority. You know what you need to do an advanced rick roll. How do you do that you ask? Dunno. But there is a principle of making the windows move and having the lyrics appear 100 times over. Which makes you ub3r c00l in the sense. A basic diagram of such an advanced rick roll is shown below you.
But how are you going to pull off something that complex? Simple you ask, by a case of browser hijacking. First off, you have to travel all the way to Iraq and do what they call an exchange, make sure that you don't get hit by the thousands of tanks and guns that are constantly being thrown at you. Once you arrive at Al Qaeda. You'll be forced to give something of value to them. Since you don't have anything, you will be forced to give them your soul. You may regret it but at the end but it'll be worth it cause they will give you the tools and you will be on your way to advanced rick rolling.
Next up is the domain name, now since you don't have any money or the consciousness to earn any money. You'll have to beg your mother for an extortionate amount of money. You may get abused in the process, but in the end. You'll gain your money and spend it on a domain name, but since domain names are pretty expensive. You'll have to go with GoDaddy or something for your own domain name, but make sure that the domain name is different, you don't want to let people know that this is a rick roll isn't it? And lastly, how are you going to pull it together you ask? Well if you follow this mathematical formula, you'll be fine.

ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
If you take the 4-way and implant it into the domain that you bought and include a message that says "YOU'VE BEEN RICK ROLLED", then you'll be fine and you'll be able to annoy people with the class of a 6 year old barley out of preschool.
[edit] So what now?
What now?, your obviously going to post your rick roll under a thread called "NEW STARCRAFT II GAMEPLAY VIDEO" under some forum somewhere. And if you already did that, congratulations! You have successfully rick rolled some people, you are now the coolest, hippest, person around and noone, no one can stand up to your awesomeness. In fact, let's see how many people are talking about you.
βGO AWAY! NOBODY CARES ABOUT RICK ASTLEYβ
~ Pissed off guy on your rick roll
βliek omg, u r the b3st3st guy evar. ur rik roll waz so clevar!!!111!!11 looololololloloollolβ
~ A n00b on your awesomeness
βThis isn't Starcraft II, and I'm going to kill the guy who made this Rick Roll!β
~ A starcraft fan on your rick roll
βOMG U GUYS THIS IS SO CRAZY TRUE U WONT BELIEVE IT !!! OK GO AND POST THIS MESSAGE INTO 490 MILLION FORUMS AND UR DOG WILL GET LAID TOMORROW. IF U DONT THEN JESUS WILL COME AND KILL EVERYONE WITH A HAMMER AND CHISEL SO GO POST IT NOW STUPID N00BS!!!!!!β
~ fuckin chain spammer
If you think that these quotes are in some way insulting to you. Ignore them, sure they might be threatening to kill you but... My god, you look bloody. Anyways, ignore the blood these guys are worshiping you, they are worshipping you because you are the most awesomest guy ever to have walked the earth. Now that you have mastered rickrolling, why not try something else. Like getting a job at the local McDonald's, we wish you luck in your future endeavor.
Categories: Oscar Wildeizms | HowTo | Annoying | Internet | Tasteless | Awful




