Rivers of Blood

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I like mine warm, with the skin still on it.

~ Charles Dickens on Rice Pudding Rivers of Blood.


This recipe serves 8,000.
This recipe serves 8,000.


Contents

[edit] Ready in

2-5 Days

[edit] Difficulty

Three (3)

(1=easiest :: hardest=5)

[edit] Ingredients

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Rivers of Blood.
  • One cucumber peeled and diced
  • Five green onions, chopped
  • 300 head of cattle, minced
  • 2 1/2 tons of navy beans
  • 6 gallons of red wine vinegar
  • 10 cups of purple food coloring
  • 2 gallons of olive oil
  • 6,000 ounces of tomato juice
  • 400,000 gallons of water
  • Pinch of fairy dust
  • Blood from the wrist cuts of a thousand Emos (Should be rather easy to come by.)
  • 2 finely ground wooden teeth from George Washington
  • 50 evil bunny ears
  • 1 ounce of margerine
  • 2 cups of fingernail clippings of god
  • 1 of your mums dildos

[edit] Directions

In half million gallon river basin or soup tureen, combine cucumber, blood, green onion, tomato juice, cattle, navy beans, red wine vinegar, food coloring, olive oil, and water. Season with fairy dust, adjust spices and seasonings to taste. Chill in moonlight for at least six hours. Sprinkle the ground teeth on top.

Divine Retribution
Smite | Damnation | Flagellation | Flood | Death of Your First Born | Frogs | Pestilence | Rivers of Blood
Locusts | Fire and Brimstone | Famine | Cancer | Papercuts of Doom | Reaganomics
Spontaneous Combustion | Decapitation Disease | Brainsplurge | Marriage | Pedicornwallification
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