Road kill
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“Mommy, where is My bunny gone?", "She's Just gone on vacation for a while...”
~ Mom and Daughter on Roadkill
“This was a rabbit... My favourite type of dead animal.”
~ David Attenborough on Roadkill
“Lookey here, some food for the young'uns”
~ Hilly-Billy on Roadkill
“Look ma, I'm roadkill!”
~ The Mask on Roadkill
Roadkill has been around since september 6th 1997, as this is when animals decided that "The grass on the other side looked greener". Many theories have arose why animals tend to cross roads, all of which created by naturalists some of these theories include;
- 'Dodge-car' a game played amongst small furry animals
- 'The grass looked greener' theory afore mentioned
- Escaping a Manning who may have been chasing the animal
- Desire to become a hillbillies snack
- Suicide(Depressed over Bambi's mom dying in that forrest fire)
- playing the well known pass-time of 'Chicken' with fellow cars.
- To get to the other side.
- Etc...
[edit] History
The history of roadkill is a book created by Chuck Norris, do not believe what anyone says, it really is, he mentions in this book that watching roadkill, from his townhouse flat window 3 stories up in croydon, is extremely entertaining and even better yet huffing cats down into the road that passes his flat, just as a lorry and / or a bus is passing, so as the little pussy is flatened, one of the main (fun) reasons for doing this is the look on their little faces stuck to the grill of the vehicle as it is driving away. Animals were created firstly by Albert Einstein who blended chemiclas such as lithium and Bromine to react and cause a lifeform to emerge in the testube, Lithium + Bromine -> Chicken, other word equations are Sodium + Oxygen -> Elephant, etc, The study of creating animals is called artificial reproduction
[edit] Evolution
the evolution of roadkill;
roadkill started off with dinosaurs the only real reason thy got killed by vehicles is that the car-crazy cavemen had only just invented the wheel and wanted to try it out, but as it was made of stone they squashed many dinosaurs in the process. Roadkill then evolved into what it is today after making a long-awaited comeback due to animals being extinct after the dinosaurs, luckily they are back now along with roadkill, so now we have no need to be vegetarians. Thank god.
[edit] Uses
The main uses for Roadkill are Puppets, the puppets are made from genuine, rabbit / fox carcasses, other uses include, tea cosies, hippy hats and frisbees, please feel free to take what I have said and use them for these purposes, I am sure you will be content or worse.
