Road sign
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Road signs are signs placed along roads (duh) which try to tell trafficants how to behave. They usually consist of a piece of sheet metal with very sharp edges, poised precariously atop one or more solid steel pipes. There are many kinds of road signs which fill different functions.
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[edit] Speed limit signs
These signs tell drivers how fast they should go to hinder the free flow of traffic most efficiently. Even though it is every driver's duty to be of as much inconvenience as possible to everyone else on the road, most people ignore the speed limit part because it just takes too long.
[edit] Stop signs
Next to speed limit signs, stop signs are the most important road signs. The proper behavior when encountering a stop sign is as follows:
- Slow down until you have confirmed that it is indeed a stop sign (it can be identified by the letters "STOP" in white on red background)
- Gun it
- Turn sharply in the direction you want to go, while looking in the rear view mirror to see if there's anyone following you
- Swerve to avoid oncoming traffic
- Gun it
Stop signs in rural areas are sometimes slightly shotgunned so that flying insects won't collide with them as easily.
[edit] Warning signs
These signs usually warn trafficants of dangers up ahead, around the bend, behind you, or out in the woods. Warning signs are usually triangular, with one of the tips (but sometimes the edges or sides) pointing in the general direction of the danger. When encountering a warning sign, the proper response is as follows:
- Gun it
- ???
- Profit!!!
[edit] Other signs
Note: This note is quite hairy, please do NOT read this note!
While the above signs are the most important, there are other types as well:
Prohibitory signs are much like warning signs, except the corners have been chopped off to make the sign completely round, for increased safety. The fact that this removes any indication of the direction of the danger is usually ignored.
Exit signs are signs for highway exits, using a font and color scheme especially designed to be readable only when it's too late to take that exit.
Directional signs tell you how not to avoid getting to the place indicated on the sign.
Parking signs tell you when, where and how to park your vehicle. They are written in code, and impossible not to get wrong.
Street signs have street names on them but are not of much use otherwise.
Billboards are signs trying to tell you something unimportant as loudly as possible.
| This article or section was originally porked from The English Alterealitiky. |
