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For the white basketball player, see Larry Bird.

“He has a D next to his name.”

~ black people on Robert Byrd.

“I didn't say they were monkeys, I said they reminded me of monkeys.”

~ Robert Byrd on black people.

Robert Byrd (1917-1958) is the longest living dictator of West Virginia. He should not be confused with robert bird, a species of bird.

[edit] Early Life

Robert Byrd was born in a West Virginia chicken coop, the end product, apparently, of what happens when a hillbilly fucks a chicken. Byrd grew up with an urge for power. Byrd once joined the Ku Klux Klan, only to leave when he was unable to get the Klansmen to establish a Robert Byrd Personality Cult.

Byrd then went off to fight in World War II, unfortunately for him, he didn't have a gun and he was arrested after punching seven Nazis to death.

Byrd was sent to a Prisoner of War Camp, but not the one on Hogan's Heroes, but one which was even zanier. Byrd was released from the camp in 1949, and soon returned home to West Virginia.

Robert Byrd after his "Satanic Makeover"

[edit] Later Stuff

Byrd was elected Governor of West Virginia in 1952 on a pledge to "enslave the masses". It was at this time that he announced that West Virginia's democracy was to be restructured and made in to the first West Virginian EMPIRE!!!! At this news the Jedi order immediately declared him a Sith Lord and has held that opinion ever since. Byrd then announced that every street in the state was to be named after him. Byrd also circulated money with his face on it. Tensions grew between Byrd and the United States government. But Byrd decided to settle things by challenging President Tom Cruise to a duel. Cruise refused to accept his challenge and Byrd drove to Washington and confronted the President. Unfortunately for Byrd, the Secret Service beat him to death after Byrd attacked the President.

Byrd's funeral was attended by millions of West Virginians, since they had nothing better to do.

Byrd briefly rose from the dead in 2001, naming a considerable number of buildings after himself, most notably "The Pork" administrative building on Wheeling Jesuit University's campus, where his ass was kicked by Clinton H. Giles in the greatest game of Mortal Kombat ever. After he returned to the Underverse, he was reincarnated by doctor Oscar Wilde and he now enjoys his 237th term in the US Senate.

Robert Byrd then took a dump on his brain. This is a common practice known as Nazism.

One time Robert C. Byrd visited the National Youth Science Camp in Bartow, West Virginia. That was during the summer of 2003.

[edit] Death

Byrd was fatally shot by Samuel L Jackson in New Orleans because Byrd wasn't chocolate enough to reside there.

[edit] Robert Byrd Trivia

• Robert Byrd is immune to the black plague.
• Robert Byrd will never retire. Ever. He has glued himself to his Senate seat. Good luck prying him loose.Kitten Huffing