Robocop
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“We invented the evil robot thing, and the Robocop ripped us off, dammit!”
— The Cybermen on Robocop
“Robocop... you will become my pleasure robot.”
~ Samurai Jack on Robocop
“Robocop... That tin can's mincemeat with me...”
~ Shirley Temple on Robocop
“Robocop...is that some kind of vibrator?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Robocop
“CRANK DAT ROBOCOP!!!”
~ Soulja Boy on Robocop
Hello this is robocop how can I help you? Birth Name: SuperFly Murphy Skeet, Fool! Bastard child of Shaft and Herbie The Robot, that robot from the 1970s Fantastic Four cartoon by lithuanian writer Zemaite.
RoboCop is programmed to follow four prime directives:
- "Serve the public trust"
- "Protect the innocent"
- "Uphold the law"
- "Never to perform anal sex in public"
Designed to punish the evil and murder minorities, Robocop rose to eminence in the 1980s after being spotted playing slide guitar in a ZZ Top tribute band called Beardy McBeard and the Beards.
Some of LAPD's finest enlisted her aid and she was soon grafted with a gun, a gun holster, a view-finder and a warped sense of justice downloaded to her brain. She was soon franchised (some even say pimped) out in a series of three films designed to show her technical prowess, her love of small orphaned black children and his deep hatred for Asian companies that had samurai-sword-wielding robots.
Disgruntled that she had made no money off of these ventures, she soon went postal and shot up 45th prescint police headquarters, killing 43 officers and maiming six hobos. The media soon dubbed the event That Time Robocop Shot Up A Bunch Of Police Offiers And Stole Their Doughnuts, and grievers now mourn on November 11th, sharing an occasion on that particular date with both the Shriners and the Special Olympics. Robocop did this because she felt that the police had no right to eat doughnuts as they were not worthy of their greatness seeing as the police originated from the pathetic race of Charm Quarks which originated from the Creation of the Universe.
It is now commonly known that Robocop had a son. This son was deranged from birth, suffering from the severe effects that was carried on genetically from the parent. These effects are such that they relate to wanting money and wanting to kill All Charm Quarks in existance.
Robocop must consume large quantities of baby food and Rakia in order to stay alive. This raises the highly debatable question which is: "Does Robocop, in fact, poop?" Robocop does not have a robotic anus, and therefor, some theorize that his fecal matter is actually turned into depleted uranium and loaded into the bullets of his gun. This may be why he has infinite ammo.
