Robot Jesus

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“You said poop.”

~ Rex Raptor on RoboChrist's transformation

“'POPE'!! Popemobile!.”

~ RoboChrist on the above quote

“I was rebooted for your sins!”

~ RoboChrist on to a washing machine

Robot Jesus (assembled 2307, also known as Robochrist, Savior in disguise) was created by Cyberdyne Industries to find Sarah Connor, and as a foil to the Robot Devil, his Devilicons, and his Necronomitron.

"Hasta la vista... Jesii".

[edit] Creation

Robot Jesus was the son of a poor welding arm and gripper claw, and also RoboGod.He was assembled by Chuck Norris in the future and sent back in time. He was originally a future Jesus, but he developed a skin disease and had to have all his internal organs removed. His biological parts were replaced with mechanical components. He was designed by Robosexuals in Japan. He was made in China.

[edit] Hardware and Functionality

RoboChrist (Savior in Disguise v. 2.0)is the Autobot's response to Megatron obtaining the OMGhax keys and unlocking the door to the Devilicons lair. Upon release, the Devilicons created sins everywhere. Using his secret transformation of the Popemobile, he set out to stop all of this

[edit] Teachings and Miracles

His achievements include replacing optical units, walking on oil, and being too good for his own good. He also destroyed the crab people which gave him the power to fly. He battled Jesus in 1945, and won by using his laser vison and a small rubber hose.

[edit] Death

Following a conference between the council of evil held in Robinson College, Cambridge, which comprised George W. Bush, bizzaro Jesus, Ghandi, and many others it was decided that the miracles caused by Robot Jesus were simply too large, and good to ignore. George W. Bush proclaimed that he would send out his puppet John Howard to destroy the menace, but more importantly Rupert Murdoch proclaimed he would eat some cheese. And that is how the Mortal Combat between Robot Jesus and John Howard was arranged. Before the battle however, On a hot December Day (The battle was staged in Australia) Robot Jesus became too dehydrated to fight, and upon attempting to rehydrate himself with some water accidentally turned the water into wine, due to the delirious state he was in caused by his dehydration. Upon drinking litres of wine, Robot Jesus became too drunk to fight and was soon killed by John Howard, who was later killed by HIV given to him by his children.

[edit] RoboChristianity

RoboChristianity began when Father 7003 and Father 405 collaborated data together. "His processor is set to Salvation," 405 spoke proverbiably. This is true, as later was proven by the RoboCrusades Act of 203T (Not to be confused with the RoboCroutons Act of 1233). In 1233, the RoboBible was written to answer many questions, such as: "How many RoboJesii does it take to skrew in a lightbulb." The answer is obviously one, due to his large robotic talons.

RoboChristianity is still a major religion, with 1345% of Earth following it. Others call it a cult, but they are all communist bastards. RoboJesus seminars are still held in many a RoboCitadel, though RoboJesus has no physical manifestaion, just interpretations. "Except for the robot half," says 405, words straight from our lord's voice modulator. RoboJesus' teachings were also adopted as part of the religion of Islam Lite

In their later years, Father 7003, Father 405, and Father 0228 lead the RoboCommunity to a small volcano island. A big RoboSkull was carved into the side of the secret lair, and it breathed lava. RoboJesus rewarded these devout followers by uploading them to RoboHeaven. RoboHeaven is the most banginest place to go when you die, son. word. -[ANP]

R3P3|\|T!!!!111!!!11!

[edit] Robot Jesus has a Son

Contradictory to the Robot Bible, Robot Jesus did in fact have a son. Robot Jesus mated with Venus Williams, and the resulting explosine from his birth turned her black. Upon exiting the party in the womb, Android Jesus created Atlantis. Because he was half human, he magically gained all the benifts of Robots, without any of the weaknesses such as rust and harmful emissions. This is do to crappy movie cliche's such as Blade.

Upon creating Atlantis, he set up King Neptune at the throne and went on a sabbatical. Returning from his break two years later, Android Jesus found the city at the bottom of the Sea, where Neptune put it as a funny joke. Since then, Andriod Jesus has been chasing down King Neptune in hopes of revenge.