Rocko's Modern Life

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Rocko's Modern Life was a cartoon broadcast on Nickelodeon from 1993 to 1996. Due to their tendency to cancel their shows quickly, its creator, Joe Murray, betrayed the network.

Contents

[edit] History

Rocko after being sunburned while traveling in the Gold Coast.
Rocko after being sunburned while traveling in the Gold Coast.

Rocko's Modern Life was born from Joe Murray's fits of boredom, where he would draw cartoons of his surroundings (bacteria and people arguing about the mashed potato theorem). He pitched a short cartoon about these things to Nickelodeon, which turned it down because they thought it would get children to emulate these behaviors.

Stupid network.

~ Joe Murray on Nickelodeon

However, one fateful day in October, Joe Murray came up with a new idea: Change everyone to animals, and make them do interesting things! (Wow.) He pitched it to those stupid braindead naysayers, and they accepted it.

[edit] Characters

[edit] Rocko

Rocko after having a blowjob from a student at Toowoomba Predatory School for Sexy Young Things
Rocko after having a blowjob from a student at Toowoomba Predatory School for Sexy Young Things

Voiced by Peter Gabriel: This young adult wallaby had a troubled time in life. He was born in 1979 to parents who wished to remain anonymous. An Australian not acting Australian enough (see below), Rocko served as the President of Toowoomba Predatory School for Sexy Young Things just as the wallaby scandal rocked the school. The frightened wallaby left for the United States after Dingo murdered his parents and sisters in his house.

Dammit, Rocko! Don't you ever, EVER look at me funny like that AGAIN!

~ Rocko's dad on Rocko

Im sorry Mate, you're not Australian enough, though you are Australian.

~ Steve Irwin

Several years later he became an eternally-abused cashier having sodas and hot coffee thrown in his face, a telephone mating counselor, a highway decongestant, carrier of the plumbers crack, high-ranking member of the Soviet Socialist Party of Greenpeace, a creator of the worst cartoons ever, and the high fashion pet of a Calvin Klein-wannabe who happens to be the wife of Victor Yeltosky. When he found that Dingo was coming over to the States see Rocko (or see Rocko's insides for that matter), with the help of Heffer and Filburt Rocko briefly became a brutal killer with a trademark chainsaw and his "warrior clothes," a white karate suit. Needless to say, Dingo didn't last for one second.

[edit] Heffer

Voiced by Rob Reiner. Heffer a fat cow, takes one step closer to developing diabetes and receives one additional heart attack whenever he eats another bag of "Pasture Puffies".

He was born in 1981, and was raised by wolves, who seriously fucked with his brain, after his biological father decided to go to Canoga Park, Los Angeles, California, United States to hang out with homies in decaying apartment complexes. While with the wolves Heffer learned odd sports like ox wrestling, a dangerous sport usually enjoyed by Johnny Knoxville and his cronies and stoned teenagers.

A nudist and existentialist at heart, he eventually grew up and went to live in Des Moines, Iowa. After an odd incident involving a pear, he moved to O-Town out of shame. Since then Heffer held many illustrious jobs such as serving as a member of the Keystone Cops, serving artery-clogging fast food while wearing a stupid outfit, making crappy cartoons with Rocko, attacking homosexuals as a Boy Scout, and being the second high fashion pet of a Calvin Klein-wannabe.

[edit] Filburt

Voiced by Steve Hackett: Filburt, a turtle, was downloaded from the computer at 5:21 pm on July 7, 1987. In a flashback explaining his origin in "The Filburt Effect", Rocko and Heffer were bored out of their MINDS that day, and decided to do something freaky. They mixed ketchup, mustard, melted chocolate and Kool-Aid mix, and put it in the computer. Suddenly, weird things happened. Lights blew out. The Cold War finally ended. Then, Filburt emerged from the chaos.

I am Filburt. Uploading data...

~ Filburt's first words

Filburt grew out of these behaviors eventually, and started to act more "normal". It is widely accepted that Filburt is weird.

[edit] Spunky

Voiced by Jean Stapleton: Rocko's retarded dog. During a brief nervous breakdown, Spunky repeatedly raped Rocko's mop until the local psychiatrist snatched the mop from Spunky and proceeded to watch Debbie Does Dallas while snuggling with the mop.

[edit] Ed Bighead

Voiced by Phil Collins: A toad who is actually a depressed genie. He has died many times over the course of the show.

[edit] Other Characters

  • None here, go read this instead.

[edit] See also

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Rocko's Modern Life is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.


[edit] External links

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