Roman numerals
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“What a waste of fucking time.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Roman numerals
“They're numbers the Romans used.”
~ Captain Obvious on Roman numerals
Roman numerals were invented in 1895 by Roman Abramovich, the 42nd emperor of Rome. Their popularity has grown and they are now used in all schools (such as Hogwarts, School of Rock and Eton) as well as in the business world, being hailed for their sheer simplicity.
[edit] How they work
1 = I
2 = II
3 = III
4 = IIII
5 = IIIII
6 = IIIIII
7 = IIIIIII
and so on.
This innovation brought peace and economic stability to the Roman world, since, before Roman numerals, the Romans had only used the numbers 0 and 42. Now that they had a new numeracy system in place, they could live for more than 42 years and go to the toilet fewer than 42 times a day, which greatly improved the productive potential of their economy.
[edit] Problems
[edit] Revival
Thanks to the power of modern computers and, in particular, voice-production software, Roman numerals are now once again regarded as the optimal numeracy system. Other systems have been tried, such as binary numbers (combinations of 0 & 1), pienary numbers (different flavours of pie), and The Magic Numbers. However, Roman Numerals have fended off these potential threats for a number of reasons:
- Songwriters will continue to use them because every number rhymes with words like die, fly and octopii, aiding the composing of lyrics.
- Schoolchildren will continue to use them because teachers can't be bothered to check whether or not longer answers are correct.
- Teachers will continue to use them because they don't care whether or not schoolchildren get the answers right anyway, and
- Roman sounds a bit like bonin'
