Rome
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Rome is a city located on a boot somewhere in Romania and is famed for its three major exports, namely meatballs, ancient-world imperialism and the Super Mario Brothers.
“ Something i Would'nt wish on my Worst Enemy ”
~ Atilla the Hun on Rome
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[edit] Ancient Rome
[edit] The Founding of Rome
Rome, contrary to Popular Belief, was in fact built in a day by two when they were doing nothing and making people do there dirty work. naturalist brothers named Romulan and Uncle Remus. Romulan in between work shifts fathered the Romulan tribe, which later went on to trouble Captain Kirk, and the Roma. Uncle Remus did most of the work.
Romulan and Uncle Remus' parents had had both been trampled to death by a herd of large, Carthaginian elephants. Rome, like the proverbial elephants of fate, never forgot this affront to their Founding Fathers and expressed its outrage by being trampled to death by Hannibal and his herd of large, Carthaginian elephants nearly 500 years later. Thus having no home the infants Romulan and Uncle Remus were adopted by a she-wolf as part of an orphan relocation program. This in turn somehow resulted in a genocide of fauns and girls named Flora which served to inspire a popular Roman childrens' show called Koliseum Kidz.
The brothers rebelled in their teens in protest to having been subjected to emu music in their pimple-soprano years while the she-wolf was out stealing and pawning babies for a living. Their subsequent conversions, Romulan to Fascism and Uncle Remus to Shinto, put them at odds with their friend Mowgli. The solved by Mowgli's death at the hands of Jimmy Stewart, then a Polynesian headhunter.
Romulan and Uncle Remus left home, also several legal battles, and decided to found their own city. However, this led to tragedy. The two brothers had a dispute over naming their settlement. Uncle Remus wanted it to be called "B'rer Rabbit's Cajun Zydaco Steakhouse" whereas Romulan favored "New Delhi". An epic battle took place in which Uncle Remus attempted to pull a Double-Gladiator-Lion Smackdown on Romulan to which Romulan himself replied with a Triple-Testudo-Centurian Belly-Bump Supreme. Romulan won and in a fit of pride named the fledgling city after himself thus beginning Rome.
Many cities today share some form of likeness with retarded oldisy Rome. well, it wasn't always old, was it? Like Washington, D.C., for example. In ancient Rome, which was build on 7 hills ( the 7th hill ), Capitol hill, was used to build a prison. Washington, D.C.'s Capitol hill is used now a days to harbor politicians. The likeness is almost uncanny. Some have noted that Istanbul, the famous turkey city, is built on seven hills but historians have pointed out that that doesn't count as it was deliberate.
[edit] The Roman Empire
Main article: Roman Empire Once they had a city built, the next thing the Romans decided to build was an Empire. Not having much creativity in thinking up names, they called it "the Roman Empire".
During the Imperial era, Rome burned down. While clearly an example of cow arson, Emperor Nero blamed one of the city's meak and helpless minorities, the Lions, who he then cruelly fed to the Christians.
Many ancient monuments from Rome's Imperial era survive to this day; the most famous being the iconic tourist attraction Empire State Building, where Mr Bush is planning on starting his very own empire, beginning with Canada and the U.K.
As the center of the Roman Empire, Rome quickly became the place to be for assorted barbarians to hang out and pillage. However after one particularly bad summer when the city was sacked a total of 9,000 times by Visigoths, Ostrogoths, Goths and Huns - who are like Goths, but instead of sulking, they prefer to ravage cities - the city authorities decided to do something about it.
[edit] Sacking by Vandals
Vandals did not sack Rome as many people think. They won the world cup of football in Rome, and then got drunk and started to do stupid things. Like knocking down temples, killing people, and ended up burning Rome to the ground. After that the Romans rebuilt a fire proof city in two hours, and forgave the Vandals but banned their team for football for three years. The Vandals went home sad with a large hang-over.
[edit] Rome's influences on War
Romans have always tried to kick major butt. They currently have fought in the following wars:
- The Pubic Wars
- World War II
- World War I
- Aided in the Pirate-Ninja War
- Star Wars
- War of 1812 + 2
- War of the Worlds (2005)
- The oil Wars
- The War of our Fathers
- Super Robot Wars
Most historians agree that the war of 1812+2 is most interesting. It showed how much the romans were able to completely dominate the Italian peninsula. The first battle took part in Massachusetts, in Northern France. In the battle, Rome fought against Britain for no reason. The romans fought harshly and forced the British to retreat. The romans, being as sneaky as they were, decided to send a blimp to track the army's path using their new technologies such as GPS and PCI-Express. Now, Hannibal and the romans had no blood to feed on. They decided to invade England. entered the Euphrateez river, next to England, they took up their rifles and began to shoot upwards in the air. Since the British came to see what the fuss was about, the bullets were carefully placed and planned by Hannible to fall onto the British soldier's heads. The plan was extremely successful and came to be known as guerilla warfare. The romans eventually came across British parliament and tore it to pieces. They went to town on it. In result, Paul Revere shouted through Rome and Calabria that the British were defeated. However, this was a complete lie. The War of 1812+2 continued.
[edit] Modern-Day Rome
The Rome of today is much different to the Rome of hundred of years ago. This is a relief for tourists who are now free to 'Rome' around pretending they actually know what happened in the city that long ago. Tourists now make up over 90% of the population of Rome the remainder being made up of Popes and a few genuine Italians. Rome was recently renamed by the Mario Party to "Rad Ruined Roma", although this has not caught on. Urban myths indicate that Rome is one of two places where "everybody knows your name," the other being the NSA. To become one of the tourists just follow any road.
The restaurant industry of Rome has it's main revenue from exchanging forged bills to tourists. gaara
[edit] Food
Since the city was colonized by tourists the only food available is pizza which is consumed in obscene quantities. Over 12,000 tonnes of pizza is eaten every day in Rome and the largest Pizza available weighs around 16 tonnes. This was only ordered once by Ronald Reagan in the mid 1980's and tragically collapsed during bakery killing 122 tourists and completely destroying the Coliseum.
However, Romans have agreed Spaghetti is also a suitably stereotypical gaara
[edit] Roman Umpire
The roman umpire called all the shots, even when people could have sex. He goes by the name of Ceaser Salad.
[edit] Cousin, not Sister, Cities
- Bombaquitchokolukodita, Zimbabwe
- La Havana, Cuba
- Rockport, Texas, USA
- Pago Pago American Samoas
[edit] Monuments
[edit] See also
[edit] The fall of the Roman Empire
[edit] Quotes
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