Rotten slugs
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“They don't taste well. It ain't that nice.”
~ Captain Cook on rotten slugs
Rotten slugs are not nice. They don't smell like nice things. They don't look like nice things. In fact, they are not nice!
We must not say "I don't care". In fact, we must face the problem. And therefore we have got to know the facts.
Contents |
[edit] Facts about Rotten Slugs
- Slugs are stupid, and they'll never ever learn not to touch the concrete on hot summer days.
- If they touch the concrete, they begin to rot.
- That's not nice.
- In fact, while rotting, the former slugs smell like canine feces.
- And it doesn't look nice. Yuk.
- Can't you imagine the pain a slug goes through while rotting? Can't you? Can't you? (You insensitive bastard.)
- You can't walk into a lane which contains rotten slugs without dying, vomitting, or serious brain loss.
For all these reasons, we have decided to curb the nascency of rotten slugs. But how?
[edit] Rotten Slugs Are Evil
Regarding the vileness of Rotten Slugs, mathemetician and amazing singer/songwriter Count Dooku came up with an equation that effectively proves the evilness of slugs. For this equation, one must understand that Rotten Slugs are communists:
Rotten Slugs=Communists
And since we all know communists are evil:
Rotten Slugs=Communists=Evil
Therefore:
Rotten Slugs=Evil
On a side note, this theory can also be used to prove that communists are all rotten slugs.
[edit] Stop Rotten Slugs!
Me and my mates, i.e. all the brilliant geniuses out there, met yesterday and discussed the growing Rotten Slugs Problem. We all know that this problem is very dangerous, it might be the the "one problem too much". You know what I mean. Boom.
And so we created our manifesto, Stop Rotten Slugs! That was a lot of work, I can tell you. It took us 5 hours to develop that slogan. So it must be brilliant, 'cause we're all brilliant geniuses, you know.
There's only one easy way (well, relatively easy) to stop rotten slugs, and we found it out after 10 hours. We have got to cool down the concrete in summer, with water or whatever. There is also an alternative: Let's diminish the power of the Sun. - However, we didn't like it, so we decided to realize Method A, the concrete cooling.
I made an experiment with slugs and concrete. After cooling down the concrete no slug rotted!!! I jumped for joy because of that brilliant idea.
[edit] The Lowdown
We'll never be able to cool down the whole world's concrete. Shit.
