Rubbish

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A box of Rubbish™.

“This article is rubbish”

~ Captain Obvious on this article

Rubbish™ is a breakfast cereal manufactured by Post, it is fortified with iron, non-essential vitamins (Q,T,W, and §), DDT, nicotine, and badgers. Eat a bowl of Rubbish™ every day to get your daily requirement of hemp fibre. Rubbish™ is made predominantly from rice, and other waste products from Asian households. It comes in boxes, bins and bags. It is also famous for its alliteration.

[edit] Rubbish™ Facts

get it, rubbish? Ah-hahaha...

It is crunchy and sweet.
It never goes soggy in milk.
In fact, it changes the milk green.
There is a toy in the bottom of each box (Note: the toy constitutes the iron content of Rubbish™).
Rubbish™ would have saved the life of John F. Kennedy had he been fed the cereal after his assassination.
The self-adhesive poperties of Rubbish™ inspired Nicola Tesla to invent the electric toothbrush
It can cure cancer.
Shoddy tribute band Two Humps are rubbish.
It can translate Cyrillics into Hellenistic Greek.
It can make you rich.
Its Just That GOOD!!
It recorded a CD in 1990 that went quintuple platinum.
It can make all of your dreams come true.
Don Henley wrote "The Boys of Summer" about Rubbish™.
It is always punctual.
Makes a good cement when wet.
It is a good dancer.
It was the voice of Aladdin.
It rescued Mongolia once from an invasion of ninjas, then it took over Mongolia.
It was on the list of prohibited substances at the 2006 Winter Olympics
It was the forth original Blue Man until it was fired for failing to catch a marshmallow that was thrown at it.
It was the actual cause of the French Revolution.
It can be used as a substitute for solid state rocket fuel.
It is the only useful thing that has no use whatsoever.