Rubik's cube
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- For other uses, please see Rubik's Cube.
“God damnit!”
~ You on a Rubik's Cube
“In Soviet Russia, Rubik's Cube solves YOU!!”
~ Russian Reversal on Rubik's Cube
“There is a bomb in your head that will explode if you don't solve that 4x4x4 rubik's cube before I solve mine. Looks like rubik got his revenge.”
~ srn347 on rubik's cube
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[edit] Origins of the Rubik's Cube
The war between Russia and reason, otherwise known as the Cold War, was climaxing in the 1970s and America was gaining ground quickly as morally sound and influential figure heads like Howard Hughes and Richard Nixon stood at the helm of the USS America. However, due to fear of radioactive waters the ship never left port. In an attempt to further the Communist agenda, closeted Communist Ernő Rubik designed a magic puzzle cube to distract American citizens from prevalent issues in society like Communism. Rubik reasoned that American people had a natural obsession with things that can't be fixed. Originally he'd planned on birthing an actress/pop star who would later grow up to marry a homeless man and shave her head, however, he decided that it would simply be too long before it took effect. Since then, the Rubik's Cube, and variations of its design, have distracted people globally from the ever prevalent threat of Communism.
[edit] What Is A Rubik's Cube
The Rubik's Cube itself is manufactured in a variety of ways: 3x3x3, 4x4x4, 5x5x5, etc. As the dimensions increase, the nerd cred, similar to street cred, gained from solving it exponentially increases. Each visible side of the Cube is covered with a sticker of a certain color. The colors are intentionally bright in an attempt to blind the beholder from the Communism radiating from its interior. It's believed that through out history a few have penetrated this defense system, but were soon after eliminated Putin-Style. The squares themselves rotate around a central core. The "objective" of the cube is to make each of the six sides of the cube have all the same colored stickers. While of course the original intention was to pull an "Amazing Yen" on American society, it has since become the "cornercube" of the puzzle game on a global scale.
[edit] Rubik's Solving Competitions
Humans as a whole are a highly competitive being, and Rubik's solving competitions are an outlet for such competitive nature. There are several types of competitions centered around Rubik's Cube solving ranging from the inane to the insanely inane. The actual current world record for speed solving is held by Ron Van Bruchem with a time of 9.55 seconds who, incidentally, also holds the record for highest number of years gone without companionship. It is to be noted that a faster time was recorded at the Semi-Bi-Annual South Austrian Cubing Cup by a colorblind man named Ronald Dean who "solved" the cube in 4.29 seconds. The final configuration of squares was incorrect, but feeling incredibly sorry for the man, they awarded him the record. To this day, Dean is still under the impression that he is the Gary Kasparov of the cubing world, and has several books on the New York Times best seller list, most of which were purchased out of pity.
[edit] Solutions To The Cube
Over time, various solutions have made their way into the public info-stream through literature, word of mouth, and the internet. Many believe that not figuring out how to solve the cube by ones self is a form of cheating and that the only way to truly "win" is to discover the solution by yourself. However, it's been called into question who the real winner is when taking into account one of them wasted weeks of human life playing with a plastic toy to achieve the same result as one who spent a couple of hours surfing the web. There is much speculation over the existence of a quick solution that will solve any cube in a short number of twists, but so far this "God's Algorithm" is yet to be found.
[edit] Pop-Culture References
- Will Smith managed to incorporate a Rubik's Cube into his hit reality show "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" and comedic masterpiece "The Pursuit of Happyness."
- During Nintendo Gamecube's ad campaign conceptualization the idea of a "cube-based ad campaign" featuring Ice Cube and a Rubik's Cube was considered, but it was shot down before it even took flight. Why they didn't simply hit it with a hammer or pick it up and take it away remains unknown.
- Concept television show, "Rubik, the Amazing Cube" featured a talking Rubik's Cube that captured the essence of the '80s. One year later it was taken off air as people stared in retrospect at how truly awful it was.
