Rumsfeldian Mathematics

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D. Henry Rumsfeld, great father of all Rumsfeldian Mathematics.
D. Henry Rumsfeld, great father of all Rumsfeldian Mathematics.

Rumsfeldian Mathematics is a school of numeric thought based off of the theorems and philosophies of the former Secretary of Defense for the Bush Administration, D. Henry Rumsfeld. It is a corrolary of Something With the Word Quantum In It.

[edit] Overview

The main branch, Rumfeldian Algebra, deals primarily with the figuring of known knowns; its myriad uses range from the graphing of nonlinear inequalities to the determining the amount of troops and cost of liberating a embittered, petroleum-rich, freedom-hating Third World country in the Middle East.

There is a secondary branch, Rumsfeldian Geometry, which deals with the figuring of the circumference of irregular circles, finding back routs to Baghdad, and other such austere Geometric calculations. It is interesting to note that proponents of Rumsfeldian Geometry are credited with proving the obsolescence of Pi, using Rumfeldian concepts; though astute mathematical reasoning they deducted that such equations could just as easily be solved using merely the number 3, if certain principles were observed, instead of the bulky and inefficient 3.141592..., etc.

Irrefutable proof as to the theory's truthiness.
Irrefutable proof as to the theory's truthiness.

[edit] Rumsfeldian Algebra

The primary principle of Rumsfeldian Algebra, as devised by the Secretary himself, is as such;

...as we know, there are known knowns -
there are things we know we know.
We also know there are known unknowns.
That is to say, we know there are some things we do not know,
But there are also unknown unknowns, 
the ones we don't know we don't know.
~ Donald Rumsfeld, Feb. 12, 2002

According to the most widespread interpretation of the principle, known knowns usually represent a mathematical constant (most commonly Condi’s Constant) or an accepted truth such as "2 + 2 =5" and "9 Billion USD in war funds is actually not all that much". A classic example of a known known is the national debt (Note: due to certain immutable laws of Rumsfeldian Mathematics, the national debt is always measured in absolute value rather than integers). Known unknowns, on the other hand, represent dynamic variables of which we can somewhat grasp the value, but not pin precisely. An example of one of these is WMDs in Iraq, we know that they have them, just not where they are yet. Some methods have been developed for figuring out known unknowns, the most reliable of these being the "self rhetorical question."

[edit] Controversy

Although there have been some unfounded attacks on Rumsfeldian Mathematics, mostly from flaming liberal terrorist sympathizers such as mainstream mathematicians, Rumsfeldian thought still remains the preeminent way loyal Bushians conduct there acts of mathematical reasoning. Remember, anyone who questions the Glorious Leader... I mean, president, is a terrorist. We are at war with the terrorists. We have always been at war with the terrorists. If you disagree, you are a terrorist.

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