SWC
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SWC, prounounced God, sometimes called Kirby, nicknamed K-Bop or Kirb by people who are usually cool, is a famous jack-of-all-trades. Among his most important accomplishments are the true invention of the Wyld Stallyns, the bacon compressor, and anthrax. His less important accomplishments include the destruction of the world. He also possesses the souls of Kikuko Inoue, Megumi Hayashibara, and Aya Hisakawa.
Though Kirby's life starts as a regular mecha anime, the focus tends to shift from action to flashbacks and analyses of the primary characters, particularly the main character Shinji Ikari. Shinji is very weak-minded and SWC tries to beat him up whenever possible.
Kirby can currently be found in his estate or something, because even though the world was destroyed, it did not mean that it was gone. Stuff is crazy like that.
[edit] Pot
Kirby is quite famous for his ability to smoke pot. When asked about this, he responded with the following words:
"Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it's queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."''
It is still mysterious as to what he meant by this.
[edit] The Journey to "Charge Mah Lazer"
In one of Kirb's most famous adventures, he and fellow traveling companion Edward Elric were found on the starship Enterprise, looking for some tail to bring home to the present with them. They were quite chummy with Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise, as indicated by his Captain's Log... ...Which was sadly lost in an unknown explosion. ... Just kidding.
Captain's Log: Stardate 1337.69 This is my log, lol. Don't throw it in the fire.
"Okay, okay, so, get this. Today, me and Ed put this friggin' whoopie cushion on Riker's chair. He didn't see it coming! He just sat on it, and FOOMP. Even Worf was laughing! Then, we shared jokes with Data and stuff. He was all like 'I said kiddlies, diddlent I?' Haha! What a comedic genius he is. Then I went and looked for One Piece! I found it, lol. It was a piece of pie! I ate it, and those pirates are gonna be disappointed now. You might wanna know when I ate it. You see, jazz is like bicycles. But I was looking at YTMND while I ate it. I ate it out of this coffee cup, and it looked like I was drinking it, when I was actually eating One Piece of pie! Oh man, I hope that wasn't recorded. People are going to have fun with that. Anywho, where was I...oh right. Yeah, I did a semi-epic maneuver and pressed this button and some dry ice appeared so I ducked under a door. Where were Ed and Kirb this whole time? I dunno. Can't even find them now. Were they even here? Whatever. Probably chargin' their lazers."
Historians decided that absolutely nothing was meant by this, so they found more to add to the subject.
Apparently, SWC and Edward Elric were traveling in search of the mysterious third Shadow Key, but their lazers ran out of ammo. The Enterprise seemed as good a place to stop as any, and stopped they did...FOR THIRTY YEARS. Or a week. That point is debatable. However, it can be agreed that in the "-END! it doesn't even matter!", since they managed to get their lazers charged after all. They then re-embarked on their adventure, with a new lead - the Shadow Key had been spotted (somehow) inside the daunting Pianus.
[edit] The Summer of Pianus Love
“A Pianus is like a rifle: its strength depends upon the character of the user. You see, if you bring a level 2 to fight Pianus, you're probably gonna die. On the other hand, you got a full party of level 3000s, you might have a chance.”
~ Theodore Roosevelt on the Big Pianus
“That guy is a blockhead.”
~ Pianus on Theodore Roosevelt
Having returned to Ossyria, Elric-san and his companion who he was sidekick to, Sir Stinky of Wafflechunkia, they set off to achieve the goal they had in mind. After their hot threesome with a random fairy, a conversation ensued.
SWC: FRISCO!
Ed: What is it, baby?
SWC: Shut up, Edwin. We forgot about Pianus!
???: Do you guys need a hand?
Both: Who are you !!
Hand: I am a hand.!
John Dorian: And I am the man attached to that hand. Insert heroic laugh here!
Both: We join you in less heroic laughter!
All: Ah ha ha!
Fairy: I let out a pleasure moan.
And thus, the four of them journeyed into the Orbis Tower, killing some weird robot things and penguins on the way down. Then, at Aqua Road, they did something and they were down at the bottom with a huge fish, pictured right.
Following a discussion about what men were involving wine glasses, Pianus handed them the Shadow Key they were searching for with no resistance. Insert more jokes about Pianus here, along with something informative about this portion of the article and how its potential is sorely underutilized. The next Shadow Key was almost in their grasp! But what would it unlock (The Thousand Year Door)? Only time would tell.
