Salmon Ella
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[edit] Recipe
1 fresh salmon
2 heaped teaspoons of table salt
1 huge pile of shit
[edit] Method
1. Remove the internal organs of the salmon. What do you mean, it's jumping around! It's supposed to be dead!
2. Gouge out its eyes and eat them whole (optional).
3. Remove all the bones and swallow them (very important).
4. Return from the emergency room. If you had swallowed enough bones, the fish should now smell kinda fishy and slime-coated
5. Garnish with salt.
6. Cook the salmon at a low enough temperature to allow the germs to survive.
7. Serves 2. If you had stocked up enough ambulance miles in step 4, you might have enough for a second trip.
In Oprah's case, she has to kill a bear at step 3 because bones have no effect on her.
8. Take a handful from the pile of shit and smack yourself in the face with it.
[edit] Food Scare
In 2006, seven native americans and canucks were taken to the Auschwitz Hospital for treatment after suspected cases of food poisoning. After a huge battle in which Hitler was killed, it was found that Sauron was responsible for the incident, as he had fed the victims tainted meat. (Oprah had already contracted Bene Gesserit so she was immune.)
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