Sandwich Islands
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The Sandwich Islands is an utterly stupid archipelago of 6 and a half islands (Ham Island, Cheese Island, Egg Island, Tuna Island, Cyanide Island and Half a Discarded BLT Island) deemed "not cool enough to be part of Antarctica". They are located approximately 200 miles from nowhere in particular and although it is widely accepted that they were formed from the crumbs of one of John Prescott's lunches, it is possible that the islands are discarded remnants of The Last Supper.
The population of 55 are all male, and reproduce by Mitosis. All 55 are players or managers of one of the 3 domestic and 1 national football teams. The national stadium, the “Solomons Must Die Arena” is perilously placed upon a mountain precipe in the south-east corner of Cheese Island (Sometimes called Hwanjulibi by the locals for no discernible reason).
The British newsreader Mick Hobjob is rumoured to be applying for asylum on the islands, although the 'BLT Asylum for Mentally Unstable and Insane Lunatics' is refusing to comment. Hobjob disappeared down a large mouse hole on Cheese Island in 2004.
The national team just missed out on qualifying for the world cup qualifiers when they lost 2-1 to the Solomon Islands in a match with 1 death, 12 serious injuries and no yellow cards.
