Santa Claus is Coming To Town
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“Either Santa's followers go, or I do. Oh shit, maybe I should have thought this one though...”
~ Oscar Wilde on Santa Claus is Coming To Town
This rhetorically hateful, yet simple Santaist Carol is actually a product of Santa's widely touted propaganda organization, The Ministry of Holly-Jolly. It is sung in a call-and-response style similar to Boot Camp marching songs, and is meant to intimidate bystanders who encounter The Nice. It is popular at Pro-Santa rallies called "Christmas Parties", where constant repetition whips the crowd into a fury of violence and fanaticism.
Controversial historians have even claimed that the song was written by Krampus himself, though this level of involvement in the affairs of Red Shirt activities would be considered unusual. Generally, Krampus prefers not to mix with non-citizens of the Duchy.
Also, notice the giggle-inspiring use of the word "Coming". Tee-hee.
[edit] Lyrics
The song is directed by an appointed leader who shouts the starting phrases, while the carolers follow with their responses.
LEADER
You'd better watch out!
CAROLERS
You'd better not cry!
LEADER
You'd better watch out!
CAROLERS
We're telling you why!
LEADER
You'd better watch out!
CAROLERS
Santa's coming to town!
LEADER
You'd better watch out!
CAROLERS
All Will Kneel!
LEADER
He sees you!
CAROLERS
When you're sleeping!
LEADER
He Knows!
CAROLERS
When you're awake!
LEADER
He knows where you live
CAROLERS
Bad or Good!
LEADER
So Bow Down!
CAROLERS
Bow Down!
LEADER
Bow Down!
CAROLERS
Or else you'll pay!
LEADER
Be Loyal!
CAROLERS
For Santa's Sake!
