Satin
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“Back in the day, Satin and I used to push Stan into the mud at school. Those were fun times... Hey! What happened to my pants?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Stan
“Oh yes, Satin, the Dark Velvety Lord. ”
~ Jesus on Satan
Satin (born 1234 AD) is an alternate conception of Satan. It is often stated that Satin was invented by 12 year olds invading the internet, especially by Oscar Wilde. Satin (along with his friend Stan) are the current rulers of Heck, because 12 year olds aren't allowed to say "hell". He is the widely-acclaimed inventor of Kitten Huffing (although Your Mom really invented it), while for the past 666 years he has campaigned against it. Other hobbies include attending Green Day concerts.
[edit] Conception and birth
As mentioned above, Satin was an alternate conception created by 12 year olds. But that's not the real story. Oh goodiness no... he is actually the love child of Richard Kyanka and G2G. Apparently, back then, Kyanka had a vagina, and G2G was capable of doing the kinky dance inside of it. If you were under 18, you shouldn't of read the previous sentence. Anyways, after the contraception failed, and abortion clinics only applied to humans back then, yup, Richard Kyanka got pregnant. At first he panicked, G2G panicked, the dog panicked, and the Pacific Ocean just sat there.
Seven billion months (or 583,333,333 years and 4 months) later, Satin magically appeared out of the sky, hit Richard Kyanka in the tummy with a shovel, and the pregnancy was over. Satin then claimed to be Kyanka's and G2G's baby, and all was good.
The Jones family are inbreads of the devil. Like normal people they go to church every sunday..... The Witchcraft church where they perform sodamystic acts on each other. They have no blood it is instead filled with green acid.
Where they live may look like a normal middle class but it is infact the sewers of hell. They trick little kids with candy to come into their house where they eat the kids faces.
beware of the Jones
