Sausage
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Luckily, it's in the good way, not meaning "tasty". But don't get too settled, they'll still eat you. All the people who edit this article have a .01% less chance of being eaten by a grue. Please note this does not stack, and is non-transferable.
And remember, it's only .01%!
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[edit] Sausage Production
Sausages are mostly grown in Southern Africa and form one of the primary exports of Botswana. Trees producing sausages are highly valued but occasionally felled to make canoes. As sausages grow on trees they are obviously all suitable for vegetarians. And your mom. Sausages are also known to be used as 'dildos' but can cause the woman to give birth to a roast-dinner, which is very common.
[edit] User Manual of Your Sausage
sausages are the main staple food of david londsdale, he eats them, or should i say he devours them. his personal favourite is the brockwurst sausage, in which he likes to enjoy 93,000,000 per anum. in his spare time he watches deal or no deal.
Once the sausage is quite small, if left alone for aprox. 20 minutes the sausage will magically regrow and again be ready for consumption. If not, cook it in an ovenwhile looking at a 1950's porno flick. Also related to sausage's ability to magically regrow is its method of reproduction, called "spontaneous spawning", or god shagging, in which new sausages begin to grow out of it and eventually fall off and inherit severe problems with drugs and alcohol.
It is frequently served at circuses, sideshows, back-alleys behind strip joints, and school cafeterias. Sometimes large groups of men will congregate for the purpose of holding celebrations called sausage fests. Aliens are rarely welcome at these gatherings.
The sausage has been used by expansionist powers to endow their women citizens (shut up about women!) with the generative capacity to create a bespoke master race (often called the Ubermunch). The disastrous consequences of such plots were only narrowly averted by the forces of good, who skillfully infiltrated plants manufacturing the catalyst used in sausage production, mustard. In 1942, the renegade scientist Caesar Salat discoverd that, when contaminated by the agent Mayon-A, mustard loses its more volatile principal chemical properties.
Sausages are nice in sandwiches, with lots of ketchup.
Sausages are often hidden.
If one were unfortunate enough to be named Thomas and were even more unfortunate enough to stumble upon Zoob, one would be well advised to not steal Zoob's sausage.
[edit] The Sausage in health and disease
Sausages were once thought to be healthy, some scientists even considered them to be part of a stable diet, and one of your five-a-day fruit and vegetables.
In early 2008, it was shown that eating more than one sausage a day, every day, for 363 out of 364 days every year will give you AIDS.
[edit] The story of the Sausage in the emergency room
It was a sort of rough day in the emergency room today. A boy had some sort of alien symbiote in his body, and it was affecting his concentration at school.
"Perhaps if we hit him over the head with a large sausage of some sort..." I mused.
"But wouldn't that afflict he and his symbiote with some sort of death?" asked the boy's mother in alarm.
"A sausage of some sort, eh?" said the boy's father. "Would that be anything like my giant penis?"
"As a matter of fact, it sort of would," I said in surprise.
"A single blow of some sort to the head with my penis would not kill a boy of any sort," he said confidently.
"Well, then," I said. "I'll go get some sort of sausage, whick is meaty."
"No need," said the boy's father. He unzipped the pants he was sort of wearing.
The boy's teachers say they've witnessed a vast improvement, of a sort.
[edit] Trivia
- The IPA pronunciation of sausage, [susej], is exactly the reverse of Jesus.
- Sausages are nice, taste good and shit. sean likes to put sausages with peanut butter um his bum while givein miss timms a rim job.:)
