Scabbing
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The art of scabbing consists of bugging the living shit out of people until they give you money or food. This may result in getting what you want or getting beaten up the latter is more likely but if you’re desperate it’s worth a try. It is usually practiced by bums on the street who decided that center link wasn’t giving them enough and can’t be bothered to get a job. It is also sneakily practiced by people who call themselves buskers but are just bums with ukuleles or kazoos. Feeding or giving into the scabs isn’t a good idea because it encourages them to bug more people. some scabs will tell you that their grandmother has just been raped by a mad goat and received several hundred goat and human STDs and well as some nasty bruises and is in hospital awaiting the money the they are currently scabbing off you to some how magically heal them with a dose of goat vaccine or some shit like that but its not true they are just going to go and buy some drugs to get high off with their grandmother who in fact raped the goat not the other way round. if you do encounter any bums or hobos AKA scabs pull out the crowbar you were hiding in your back pocket that you especially put their for that moment and hit the scab continuously until he decides that raping a goat would be safer. Tristan
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[edit] Infamous Scabs
Tristan Higgins, Richard Gillmore, Tom Wright (who is sexy by the way), Kendric Rendle-Short (Bogan)
[edit] Famous People to Scab off
Mark, Simon, anyone wearing expensive clothes i.e. shoes, fat people,artie, chris(who by the way needs not to be scabed off just think about gettting food and he'll give it to you)Brendan Tristan Higgins.
[edit] Being a scab
If you really must be a scab you need to pick your target carefully eg. someone who has too much food or is insanly fat or stupid.
Be nice Eg. give me some fucken food you retard i dont have any a life or any food of my own. Then hold your hand out palm up infront of them and dont take it away until you get some food, they eat it all, they hit you or insult your mother.
If someone puts up a sign saying "dont feed the scab" eat the sign to show that you are either extremely hungry desperate or stupid
Keep other scabs out of your territory!!! You need to hold your turf. how do you expect anyone to give you stuff if some other hobo is taking all the game. this is another instance where your crowbar will come in handy. an added bonus to killing the competition is that you get their ukelele.
once and if you succeed in getting what you want thank them and then ask them to be your friend..... i know your thinking "i have friends" but seriously if you are on this page you dont. Tristan
[edit] Scab Relatives
A close relative of the scab is the bogan. in some (most) cases, bogans become scabs, and if you're some upper class kid who forgot their lunch one day, chances are you'll be named a bogan and someone will thieve your shoes. Of course, this presents yet another opportunity to practise up on those crowbar wielding skills. So if your seriously considering a career in scabbing, be prepared to be named a bogan with no shoes and a dirty crowbar . Kendric
[edit] Avoiding scabs
There are many ways to avoid scabs:
wear a shirt that says "scabs will be raped"
become famous for killing all scabs
dress like a bum
eat really bad food that not even a bum would want
ignore until they leave
run like frigen heck
scab back at them
Kill the head scab (similar to vampires)
insult their mother and their lack of friends Tristan
[edit] Scabbing, The History of
Scabbing was not always called so. it was once a very popular art where people ran over to some random and bugged them for money and food. but in a later year there was a bum that happened to have a very large appetite for scabs so he would go over to people and ask them to peel off their scabs and give them to him to eat if they said no because they didn't have any he would get out a machette and slice of a large portion of their leg or other body part upon saying "i'll come back tommorow" this later developed into what we today call scabbing. Tristan
[edit] Songs, sayings, movies, bands and books about scabbing
Scabby Scabby busk busk, Scab you later, scab me baby one more time, angel of scabbing, scab of god, thats scabtastic, scabby potter and the philosipher scab, the chamber of scabs, the prisoner of scabkaban, the goblet full of scabs, the order of the scabs, the half bloody scab, lord of the scabs, fellowship of the scab, the two scabs, the return of the scab, your moms a scab, oh my scab, scab me dead, scabby oath, bloody scab, 1o1 ways to kill a scab, dont feed the scabs, scabtrek enterprise, scab wars,
[edit] Scab requirements
To be a scab you need to be a bogan or a hobo or just some one who is extremely hungry. you need a certificate III and IV in scabbing and a Certificate II in anti-hospitality. you obviously need to have no manners at all and must look like nobody loves you which nobody does anyway.Tristan
[edit] Scabbing - Behind the scenes
Through the duration of this this article you may have been wondering why? why burden other people with having less food just so you could have a small bite of what appears to be an apple? Perhaps it's because you are a refugee from Africa, and are too poor or not educated enough to know how to use the currency system. Or maybe your mum and dad are just too into their inter-species love-fest, to forget that little Jimouhoo doesn't have any lunch. The only person who truly knows what the reason for scabbing is, Tristian Higgins; the co-founder of scabbing(other partner some breed of pidgeon) has stated that the reason for scabbing is: Controzntai Alvius Tropo, (latin), when translated it says: "The deciduous tree is only a virgin as long as the weasel wants him to be."
When scabbing remember this; It was all possible because one day, a small blonde child forgot his lunch and some fat kid (whose name is not artie)[*by saying this we in no way guarantee that artie is neither fat or a kid..by kid we are reffering to infant goat] gave generously to him. Tristian, I mean the blonde kid, took advantage of this kindness and became the first scab. -By Artie...edited by rochelle (the goat bit [*])
[edit] Alternatives to Scabbing
If you feel you're too weak to scab, have some kind of scabbing inpediment, or are in anyway not fistworthy enough to perfect the art of scabbing, then not only have you wasted several valuable minutes of your life reading something that your too spineless to try, but you will find yourself very hungry come lunchtime. YOU SCABLESS PEOPLE MAKE ME SICK. DON'T EVER ATTEMPT TO SCAB AGAIN.Kendric
[edit] Mental Scabbing
When you have perfected the art of scabbing and you are left thinking "well, what do i do know" you need mental scabbing. Mental Scabbing is a form of scabbing in which no verbal of physical action is taken against the victim of you scabbing attempts. you use your pure scabbing thoughts to attract food from people. You may find it takes a while this is either because you suck or because you need more practice. once you get good at it you will find that people are coming up and offering you food at regular intervals. Once you perfect the art you dont even try to scab it just happens. Famous people to mentally scab off include Tom (gayspace Tom) Tom Hoey, Tom Cruise, Tom Wright, Tom Hanks, Tom Clancy, Tom Jones and Matt Damon "MMMMAAAATTTTT, DAAAMMMMOOONNN" Tristan NOte:eventually people will start giving you food and money whether you want it or not so be very careful when practising mental scabbing.
