Scandinavia

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Scandinavia was a conspiracy theory developed by the Soviets in the 1640s. The only parties falling for this April's Day prank were Finland, Sweden, Norway and John Kerry. Denmark & Iceland have often been accused of being part of Scandinavia, but they deny these allegations. Denmark says that they were just playing along and knew all along that it was just a joke. Actually later Finland and Norway admitted that they were also only joking, so nowadays Scandinavia includes only The Grand Duchy of Sweden.

The Soviet government claimed that Scandinavia was a happy group of countries that did not want to be part of the Cold War or any major global political decision. Early membership benefits included free health care and education without oppressive government. Not to be outdone by commies, USA founded Canada.

After the fall of the Berlin wall, western historians were given access to the Soviet plans of this conspiracy. Later it was revealed that the initial plans were written on a dirty napkin from Hard Rock Cafe in Paris, France. (Of course it is in France! What kind of a nitwit would think "Paris, China" or "Paris, The Philippines" or "Paris, Guatemala"? You don't have to write "Paris, France" any more than you have to write "Moscow, Russia" or "London, The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Fucking Northern Ireland"! Everybody knows Paris is in France, goddammit!!! Except for a bunch of ignorant American twits living in Florida, United States of America! God, it makes me mad!!!)

On most maps, Scandinavia appears as a large nut sack teabagging Europe. Scandinavia's major exports are porn, Volvos and sex-change operations. Major imports are Sun, bikinis and early episodes of MacGyver.

In Scandinavia it tends to be cold so bring a blanket

It is believed that Scandinavia is the origin of lego, as most of the buildings there are made from it.

Scandinavia is also responsible for most forms of cancer, including toe cancer, finger cancer and eyelid cancer.

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Cold Nordic Countries
Denmark | Faeroe Islands | Finland | Greenland | Iceland | Norway | Midgård | Sweden | Svalbard | Scotland |
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