Scarborough

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Local upstart

“I hope they do not ban speedo swim trunks from the south bay, ive only just bought some new binoculors”

~ Gary Glitter on a big hill overlooking Scarborough.

“The wildlife is wonderful, I love to touch the cattle”

~ Beastiality Boy on Scarborough.

Scarborough is a large outdoor retirement complex on the North East Coast of England. It's name derives from Anglo-saxon, 'Scar' translating as 'The elderly', and 'Borough' as 'Detainment Centre'. Although the original dates of Scarborough's creation are unknown, local folklore suggests it was a place created by 'God' for the elderly to cause uncontrollable chaos, without disrupting the everday life of normal people.

[edit] Population

Taking into account that there is about 2 billion AOPs (over aged pedophiles) in the world today, around 1.7 billion live in Scarborough, the other .3 billion are made up of Chuck Norris, and all followers of Chuck Norris. Although this figure is not exact as everybody is a follower of Chuck Norris, just not every OAP can move. Or stop watching kids.

[edit] Places of interest

Fuck all

[edit] Industry

As all of the people in Scarborough are retired, the number of industries are minimal. However, many Chavs commute from the distant lands of Filey and Whitby, to work in the businesses along the promenade. These include ice cream bars, fish and chip restaurants and gift shops. The service quality is fairly low, as you would expect.

Fishing is the other major industry, and its success stems from the bait used, which is compiled locally. The rotting faeces of the elderly collect in huge piles along the sides of roads and paths, and these are collected frequently by fishermen and used as bait. Scientific research suggests the molecular structure of the faeces is extremely attractive to marine life.

Another noticeable industry on the rise in Scarborough is Charity Shops. Probably originating from the fact that when these old buggers FINALLY die their clothes can be tossed into a charity shop where, undoubtedly a chav will buy the clothes based upon two prominent factors, value for money and the fact that the clothes already smell of smoke, so they do not have to spend 8 months truanting from school trying to get the "just got lung cancer" smell into their clothes

[edit] Facts About Scarborough

• The average age of a Scarborough resident is 86. This is higher than any other of the retirement complex's, comfortably beating former champions Morecambe and Eastbourne.

• Jimmy Saville, creator of chavs, is a resident of Scarborough.
• Scarborough is visible from space, made possible thanks to gleam of sun tan lotion on the skin of the old people.
• Scarborough has an annual "Kick the mugger" parade, where a convicted criminal is chased down and "kicked" ferociously until a paradigm of humiliation is reached.
• There is a Scarborough in Canada, but instead of chavs it has arseholes.