Scary Spice
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"Scary Spice" can be a term used to describe the garish one out of 'Spice Girls,' or a little known Brazilian Herb, illegal in most parts of the world. As I have very little to write about either of these, I will try to explain both here and come up with a half decent, or at least acceptable article.
[edit] Scary Spice (The Garish One out of Spice Girls)
They all had their hooks: Mel C was 'cool', Geri Halliwell was... patriotic, Victoria Adams/Beckham was frighteningly dull (and therefore not too sickening), and Emma Bunton was rumoured to be half-decent, but Scary Spice (Melanie Brown) seemed to be a fish out of water, in the sense that she did not have even a hint at an up-side.
Named Scary Spice not, as first thought, because of her loud appearance and penchant for repulsive leopard-skin cat suits, but instead for her tendency to follow children wherever they ventured, Scary Spice was always the most controversial spice girl. In addition to this, her grating 'nails on a chalkboard' voice was almost the winner of 'Most despised voice 1997,' before being pipped at the topspot by Andrew Marr. In her Spice Girls days, she could effectively be hidden by awkward camera angles and fingers "accidentally" covering the camera lense in interviews, but the true horror of 'Scary' was finally unleashed when Melanie Brown attempted to launch a solo career.
Luckily, the phenomenon lasted only several minutes - nobody expected anything more. However, in those minutes, 14,000 nationwide deaths were reported, and 26,000 children all disappeared; presumed dead or at least fondled. 'Scary,' like some kind of Hulk-esque frightening abolishment, grew enraged and power hungry, charging down the high-streets of Manchester claiming that she could get in the UK Top 100. Obviously mad, Mel B was sedated by professionals and sectioned.
Over the months of therapy that followed, 'Scary,' now nicknamed 'Calm,' told scientists that it was the smell that drew her to the children. That fresh 'I only came out of the woumb eight years ago' smell. She also explained that this was what broke up the group - her constant need to molester Geri Haliwell, who inexplicably shared the fragrance that Melanie craved. When asked whether Emma 'Baby Spice' Bunton had this scent, Mel B revealed that she was not actually a baby - she was just short. Truly the end for Mel B's career in music, when she was released, the previously scary "woman" found herself a job behind a counter in Primark, where she was never recognised again.
[edit] Scary Spice (The Illegal Brazillian Herb (Drug))
Scary Spice was first found growing near the Colombian Border, and was instantly ground into a spice (like most new discoveries in South America). The result was, frankly scary. When sprinkled on food, a thick fungus began to grow on the surface so quickly that the food turned into a small creature, which usually, in the shock of being grown out of a lasagne, has a heart attack and dies. The survivors are known to leap onto the face of the first human they see in a bid to suffocate it. Thus, scary spice is dangerous to almost all around it, making it illegal in almost every country. It is often smuggled into the country, but only one surviving creature was ever noted, where the government got it a job in Primark, where it was never recognised again.
