Scots
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| WARNING This article pertains to Scottish things, dae nothin tae to fix this. It is recommended that while reading this article you wear a kilt, drink Irn-Bru, eat Jock pies and sing Auld Lang Syne loudly. Failure to observe these precautions could cause you unexpected distress and a life of misery in Falkirk. | 
|
Warning!: this article is overly scottish!
Contents |
[edit] Wat be Scots?
Scotch is a leid frae the Scotch Lawlands. Maist fowks that speaks Inglish nos it's nocht but Inglish written wi orra wirds an spellins.
Scotch akchtualee meens in Scotch ' a ballixed up moonee raisin skeem dat nae yin shud taek sereeously, A meen joost luk at dis sentans! '
[edit] War doos it be spawkin?
Scotch bees spawkin in playses like Lalland Scotchland, Ingland and parts of Airleann, boot dats different, dats Oolster Scotch.
[edit] Invenchoon
Scotch was invented by Angus MacDonald in Seventoon Naintee Too to cambat tha rise o' batter leids sooch as Airish Gaelic, Scottish Gaelic, Esparanto an basically anee udder leids.
[edit] Sampul Texts
Al hoomans ar born free, an um... *bagpipe music*
Wich a'cours bees tha Oorapeen declaration o' hooman rites, i tink...
Al hoomans ar born free, aleest dose dat ar Scotch, fuck Gaelic, up de brits!!!
Wich a'cours bees tha Scotch declaration o' hooman rites, mooch battar.
[edit] Dialekts
A'course Scotch bein such a bootiful an valid leid, it has tuns o dialects, such as:
- Lallands
- Glaswegian
- Edinburghee
- Oolster Scotch
Na tha differans batween dees is incredibul, joost look at dees sampul!
- English : The stupid children said that scots was a made up language.
- Lallands : Tha wee daftees sayd dat Scotch was a mad oop leid!
- Glaswegian : Tha wee daftys sed dat Scoots was a made oop leid!
- Edinburghee : Tha wee dafties sed tat Scots beed a made oop leid!
- Oolster Scotch : Tha nat wise children said that Oolster Scotch was a made oop leid!
[edit] Oolster Scotch!
Lang agoo Airleann spook campletly a leid cald Airish, den de Inglish an de Scoots gat tageder an decidud dat Airleann didn't akchtualee balang too de Airish, but it was akchtualee ders.
So den dey sailed over an took al de land an kilt a lot o' fawks, den in Naintoon Tweentee sumtin de Sudern Airish brok away frum de brits, but den dey decided dat dey wanted Oolster fur demselves.
A lot a wars happund den, and aftur dat was over, de Airish ( Shin Fane) had a leid called Airish Gaelic, and de Inglish had a leid called Inglish, and we Scots had...um......
So at dis time o' udder confoozun, sum clever gai decided hed start spawkin and writin in a Scoots accent, and so Oolster Scotch was barn!
Naadays Oolster Scotch is yoosed too batul against de eebil Airish leid, tayk dis conversation batween an Airish Catlick (nown in Oolster Scotch as a fenian), a Proddy Scoot an de Goovernment in Oolster:
- Fenian: Can we have an Irish speaking colledge please?
- Goovernment: Well, alrite...
- Scoot: Ah no! We wan a Scoots spawkin calledg!
- Gooverment: Ah its too costy, sorry.
- Fenian: (A bit anoyed) Oh, well O.K, well can we have de road signs in English and Irish like down south please?
- Gooverment: O.k then...
- Scoot: Ah no way! We wan al de road sians in Oolster Scotch too!
- Gooverment: Too costy, sorry.
De battul against de Airish leid continyuus!
