12 year olds invading the internet
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Yes, twelve year olds are invading the INTERNET. You see them all around you. They walk around just like us. And they're the biggest threat to the existence of the Internet. They contribute their useless articles to the holiest of all holy sites, Uncyclopedia.
They refer to the Internet as the "Intraweb", and have been an age-old problem. Even before the Internet was around, various twelve year olds were preparing their invasion. Sadly, only a few twelve year olds remained as twelve year olds when the Internet was first invented.
[edit] General Intelligence On The Growing Threat of 12 Year Olds Invading the Internet
The underdeveloped humans, known as "12-year-olds" are taking over the Internet by storm due to the availability of ISPs. Many leading experts have drawn parallels between the tactics of a 12-year-old and those of a terrorist.
Twelve year olds often repeat jokes which died out decades ago, causing symptoms such as, but not limited to: Headaches, Migraines, Unconsciousness, Brain-Damage (the contagious kind), Cancer, Cerebral Hemmorhage, Cancer, Death, Retardation Leading to Death, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, and in some cases, a minor cough.
Currently the pope has issued a bounty on Internet-using 12-year-olds. Sister Anna currently holds a medal for "most n00bs killed"
[edit] Invasion of 12 year olds on myspace
Young morons recently began invading the site called myspace.com. To make themselves feel like grown-ups, they put on their two-part swimsuits and take pics of their rear ends as a mating call to pedophiles. Some government officials have tried to take action against MySpace, and similar types of websites, but their actions have been blocked repeatedly by certain people.
[edit] How a Twelve Year Old Talks
Here's an example:
- "(4n Y()u r34d my wr171n6? |\|0 y0u (4n7 (4u53 y0u 4r3 4 n0085 h4h4!!!!! 1 4m n07 4 5(r1p7 k1ddy 4r3 y0u?"
- "616617y 616617y 0h 0h 00000h!! 1 4m qu46m1r3! (16n0r3 7h15 53(710n 0f 7h3 4r71(|3)"
Translation: Can you read my writing? No you can't 'cause you are a noob! Ha ha! I am not a script kiddy, are you? Giggity giggity oh oh oooooh! I am Quagmire! (Ignore this section of the article)
Notice not only the overuse of 1337, but also the numerous spelling mistakes.
Here is another example of the way a twelve year old on the Internet would speak. Note how said twelve year old is attempting to argue his point of view, whilst making a spelling mistake on the sixth word. Also note lack of punctuation apart from the numerous exclamation marks (!) at the end.
[edit] A 12 year old's inferior response to this article
Fzuck U L U Sunza Biziztchesz! Mah opinin az gudz any1 3LZes!
[edit] Articles written by 12 year olds invading the internet
[edit] Other 12-year-olds invading the internet
- Encyclopædia Dramatica
- Kenny
- Player
- Hank Hill
- Anyone using Comic Sans MS
- You
- Anyone from a cartoon forum
[edit] People You Should Call!
The best advice, if you see a twelve year old, is simply to pray. Pray for almighty God to bring you a swift death. Or call the following
- Ghostbusters
- Godbusters
- God
- Arnold Schwarzenegger (the Governator)
- Charles Bronson (he shoots 12 year olds in the head for petty crimes)
[edit] If You're Really Desperate!
Sometimes you're just a sad little man who doesn't have even a hope in the world of calling the best of the best. If this is true then call these Z-list heroes...
- Superman
- Batman
- Spiderman
- The Incredible Hulk
- Rambo
- Gandalf
- That guy down the road who killed a man with his bare hands last Wednesday
- Godzilla
- 13+ Year-Olds
- 11-Year-Olds (Surprisingly, they're actually smarter)
- Grues can kill them, but then they would just eat you.
- The mother of the twelve year old. The only person who has the power to ban the 12 year old from their computer.
- A group of stereotype breakers.
- Your self (Only if you are *not* 12 and really good)
- Steve Ballmer
- Quinton Flynn
- Tao Ren
- Carlos Mencia
- People who don't believe in age
[edit] The Internet Liberation War
On February 12th 1865, President George W. Bush launched Operation L.I.P (Liberate Internet from Pubeless children)in the hopes of forcing the aggressive 12th Annoying Children Regiment to retreat from the Internet. It involved a massive aerial bombardment of all Intenet connections know to be used by 12 year olds, followed by the quick deployment of special forces into all major American cities to seize control of all public Internet connections. The 12th Regiment put up a fierce resistance however, and forced the Delta forces back through sustained UDS (under developed swearing) fire. After just 3 hours of fighting, the President declared the end of major combat, saying 'We all know the those little nitpickers have every right to show their views on the Internet, and before I start to look really stupid, I've decided to call off our forces until further notice.'
The less famous Operation B.I.T (Bloody Ignorant Twits) was launched by forces inside the United Kingdom shortly after, and was more successful, however many critics have noted that the annoying 12 year olds have since switched to Xbox Live tactics of shouting loudly about things they know bugger all about. Conspiracy theorists claim that a new weapon is in development to wipe out the annoying 12 year olds and may involve Chuck Norris and Darth Vader, though this has been repeatedly denied by all governments.
[edit] this iz sooooo ofeenzivse tuu 12 yaer oldz
Yuo shud geev theym mur kriditz 'cuz ats uan pont you wer 12 tuu!
^^ Probably written by a twelve year old. Notice the bad grammar and the uber crying over the younger kiddy nerf ball age.
^^66 stfu u n00b
