Sean Combs

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Sean Combs (born February 4, 1949, in the afternoon) is a well known musician, actor, entertainer, cloth designer, TV chef, producer, amateur dentist, olympic medalist in bobsleigh, anal-bead enthusiast, soccer mom, scientist, black rights snacktivist, business man, and more. Prior to adopting his current artist name (Klas Vunstaffelscharft), he was universally derided as Biggie Smalls' (aka Smeggie Balls) "Dance Biyatch".

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1 Early Years
2 Career
3 Aliases
4 Biggie's Death

[edit] Early Years

Sean was born in 1949 in the small Belgian village of Seattle (nowadays located in north western USA). His parents were both educated lawyers and during Sean's childhood he rarely had to worry about financial concerns. This was not because of his parents good education however, but rather because of all the blowjobs that young Sean used to sell to the male teachers after school.

[edit] Career

Puff Daddy calls Björk

Already at the age of six Sean was discovered and brought into the music and entertainment industry. He was considered one of the best skin-flute players of his age, and this talent soon took him to the big scenes all over the world. He played a now legendary duet with Jimi Hendrix's teeth at the Woodstock festival, which brought him into the skin-flute Hall of Fame. He appeared in several movies as well as released a number of albums with indian themed skin-flute music. By the year of 1970, Sean Combs was a worldwide icon and idol, with dozens of fans all over the world. By now, he had also established himself in several other areas in show business, and had founded his own record label. In the year of 1986 he launched his very own clothing line, "Dad", and also began to wear designer sun glasses in order to look more cool.

Due to his many areas of expertise and his sometimes drastic changes in popularity, Sean Combs often changed his artist name. The latest scientific studies done at the International Research Center of Sean Combs Aliases in Zürich indicates that so far he has used over 7,500 different aliases and a.k.as.

He also had the incredibly successful "VOTE OR DIE" campaign, wherein he voted for the Giant Douche. While the official statistics are unknown, he is said to have executed over 200 registered voters for not participating in the 2004 elections, including Paris Hilton.