September

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The 9th month of the Calendar year, and the end of summer for the northern hemisphere, or the beginning of spring for the southern hemisphere. Also the beginning of Christmas decoration installation for retailers in the western hemisphere, despite the fact that Halloween hasn't even happened yet.

This is the month in which little furry animals such as bears, mice and tuna fish fly south for the winter.

George McComiskey was born in this month, on the 6th day to be exact. He is the gayest person to walk the planet, so don't you even think about competing with him.

September is also the birth month of "Jack Daniels" formally of "Jack and Jill". Tragedy struck when Jack had a nasty fall and fractured his skull. He then sunk into the depths of depravity but rose again bearing barrels of an addictive toxin loved by rednecks the world over. Thus Jack Daniels was born.

September comes from the latin word "Septemberus" which means "time of cattle." In the ancient Roman times, any child born in the month of September was immediately taken to the healers and castrated. What that has to do with cattle is completely inobvious.

In the United States, September is National Rhetorical Counterpoint Month.

Do you remember the kind of September when grass was green, and grain was yellow? No, me neither. Never mind.

[edit] See Also

List of September Anniversaries